This article sums it up.
Dear Super-In-Love Couples On Facebook,
I get it. You are in love — bigtime. And it is great that you are so gosh darn happy but I think the time has come to talk about the appropriate way to express said happiness on Facebook.
You know how there are rules about PDA when you are out in public? (eg. no making out in a bar or no overtly groping one another during dinner…) Well there should be PDA rules for Facebook too. Frankly, your online displays of affection are just as awkward and, unlike when it happens at a bar, I’m sober when I’m watching it.
So please, allow me to take the time to outline for you the things that make us, your less in love friends, want to vom.
1. Commenting or liking every one of each other’s statuses - That’s great, you are supportive. But if you are just going to like everything, you have no credibility. And what’s with all the commenting? Don’t you live together? We know you are sitting next to each other right now. Why not just turn to your honey and share that comment with them verbally. Crazy, I know.
2. Writing on each other’s walls about mundane things - You write – “Hey babe, I was thinking we should have tacos for dinner tonight.” We think – seriously?! Seeing as how you are so in love, I feel fairly certain you have each other’s phone numbers. Try this newfangled technology called texting. It will achieve similar results.
3. Having every single profile picture be of the two of you – You probably have other friends (or maybe you did before you became so annoying on Facebook…). Feel free to highlight some of those other people in your profile pictures every once in a while. If your boyfriend is secure, he’s not going to throw a hissy fit if you swap out a profile picture of you together for one of you and your sister.
4. Writing inside jokes on each other’s walls - Le duh, you have inside jokes… you spend all your time together! But since you two are the only ones who get them, perhaps those are best saved for email. I promise you, your friends aren’t reading your conversation about your inside joke and thinking – man, they are cool.
5. Pet names - Come on now.
6. Writing all over your each other’s friend’s walls - Once you’ve commented on every single one of your lover’s updates, wall posts and photos, what’s left other than to go comment all over their friends’ pages? Good thinking and not at all creepy.
7. Regular status updates about how awesome your boyfriend is – Heyyy you like your boyfriend. That’s great. I like vodka but you don’t see me professing my undying love to it via status updates once a week. Everything is ok in moderation, but if you are putting up a status update about how fab your bf is because he just cleaned the kitchen, that’s too much,
8. Pointless wall posts - Wall posts that read, “You’re the best” or “I love you” are so clearly serving only one purpose – you are staking your claim. Stop peeing all over each other’s walls. Everyone get’s it – he’s taken. No need for you to make yourself look cray cray.
So, my dear super-in-love friends, there it is — the top 8 things that are driving people crazy about your FB relationship. Now that you know, I am cordially begging you, please stop. I truly am happy for you that you have found someone who makes you so excited, I just don’t need to see it in my News Feed, all day everyday.
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