It had only been five minutes since I had collapsed onto my bed but I was already well on my way to lala land where unicorns were real, spiders or flying cockroaches didn’t exist, chocolate didn’t make you fat and I was the queen of all creatures- sea, land and air with no acne and always perfect looking hair. No wonder, sleeping is one of my favorite things to do. It was when I was riding my unicorn across orange jelly mountain that BUZZZZZZZZ, out of nowhere my phone started vibrating. As I was speedily warped back into reality, the world where cockroaches and mosquitoes still conquer the night, frustrated I took a glance at who it was (WHO DARE AWAKEN ME FROM MY SLUMBER?!!). It was a cousin brother of mine, more like a friend to me than a brother. I am truly fond of him but what the hell did he want from me at this hour?
Now, one of the chores I need to do at my place is close all the entrances before going to bed every night; a task I hate because well, I might be old enough to vote, I am still scared of the sham of an ominous presence following me lurking in the dark. However, my childish frustrations vanished when he asked me to immediately open the front gate (SEE Mom, I am old enough to stop drinking Bourne Vita by now!) This could not be a good thing. Surely, something was wrong. I ran downstairs and out the house to open the gate for him. He was patiently waiting outside in his bike and as I opened the door, he hurriedly brought himself in along with his bike. As he got off the bike, he explained what I had already guessed (which had become quite obvious at that point) he had gotten in to an accident! Quickly I grabbed his bags and turned on the torchlight app on my phone to scan his body. Fortunately nothing bad had happened, just a few scratches, no aggressive wounds.
I took him upstairs where my obviously panicked mother played 20 questions with him about what happened? Where? Why aren’t you wearing a wind breaker while you are riding? As this happened I was still closing up so I was still unclear as to what had happened. It was only upstairs, when I poured him a glass of coke and prepared him some WaiWai that I found out the rest of the story.
I do love my country and have the biggest and truly support the various development projects taking place, especially the at present’s most noticeable one of expanding roads, even though it results to me getting dust foundation every time I decide to take the scooter around the valley (not that it doesn’t compliment my skin tone though.) But as successfully as this project seems to be going, many of the roads in the valley have the notorious reputation of being beyond atrocious. So, naturally, I thought maybe he had stumbled on the random holes in the middle of the road which at a glance look absolutely pointless. If not that, perhaps he had bumped into one of that life size concert dividers that the smartest of the three little pigs had used to make his house with.
But no! It was none of that. It wasn’t the appalling state of roads, it was not the intimidating dividers and it wasn’t even the result of an intoxicated state of mind. I will tell you what it was, the reason for the accident is however was *drumroll*………. A COWWWW!!!
I know it probably was not the best reaction to someone so traumatized but I could not stop myself from laughing- in amusement mostly. After around five minutes of continuing to stick with my (admittedly) impetuous reaction I finally calmed down to ask him the most important question of the night ‘Is the cow okay?’
As he describes his accident, he simply elucidates that he was riding the bike, a little faster than usual (because it was already considerably late) when out of nowhere a cow suddenly walked in the middle of the road. And just like the motorcycle skidded, with my brother landing on the ground. The cow seemed hardly bothered at all. She rested for a while (probably to figure out what she had done that the ape man would come charging at her; why can’t anything in life ever go her way? EVER?!) before getting up on her feet and walking away. My stunned brother stayed on the floor before he could centre himself and attempt to start up his bike.
Now, we don’t know why or how the cow got there, partly because I was not there and I have no idea what might have really happened and partly because no matter how hard I try every time I try to ‘think like cow’ the only thing that comes to mind is ‘mooooo.’ Perhaps the cow was attempting suicide? Maybe it was just looking to stroll around, take an evening walk after dinner? Maybe my brother is an idiot? What really happened, we will never know. But what I do definitely and sincerely hope is that the cow is alright.
So, next time if you plan on MOOOOOOOOving around at night in your bike, steer clear from the cows. They might be a bigger problem than your could anticipate them to be!
On another note: I am truly sorry for being away for such a prolonged period. I didn’t mean to, I promise! But you know how life gets in the way of, well……*lost*….life? If that makes any sense. Anyway, I am back for good and hopefully you guys will enjoy my future posts. Please give me lots of insights because like Simon Cowell for the success of American Idol, they matter! Anyway, I wanted to share the story for two reasons, the first reason simply being the absurdity of the whole situation and the second that despite the dry humor, it was a pretty terrifying experience and I am grateful that he is okay. For those of you who might need it, hopefully, it might also serve as warning. Do not underestimate the strength of the national animal, they might literally be the death of you.
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