The following is what a women posted on a dating forum seeking a rich husband:

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)
Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan below:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money” : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.
However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”.
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO

A great response indeed but I am fairly certain this is fake; at the minimum the response part. I doubt CEO of JP Morgan (James Dimon) has time to check these kind of forums, let alone reply to one with his name signed. Looks like the whole thing is fake.

But anyway, since he brought up the issue of economics, I'd like to represent Ms. Pretty and respond to Mr. Dimon's contentions.

Dear. Mr. Dimon. My client would first like to thank you for taking the valuable 8 minutes you spent on answering her questions. Per our calculation, your eight minutes is worth $304 (in $20M annual salary valuation basis), hence we will be happy to compensate you for the amount, incase you seek a compensation since we are rejecting your reasoning.

As a fiduciary to my client, it is my responsibility to point you towards the inaccurate logic you have implied in the name of economics. First of all, it is accounting that comes into play here. Yes, my client has a depreciating asset in her beauty, however with this invention called botox the depreciation rate could be significantly slowed down. With the advent of plastic surgery we can even argue that some appreciation can be accumulated with breast augmentation surgery. Even if we go with the assumption of depreciation, this is a good thing as you should be well aware, depreciation provides the tax relief. Using any method of cost accounting, you can utilize this depreciating asset and claim back from tax, providing your net-worth a much anticipated relief.

Let's get to the trading point. We agree with the trading position, but have you considered conducting an option trading on this commodity? Since you know the asset is getting depreciated, you can either short the asset or make a put bid on this and hedge your investment wisely. You can use her beauty now and cash in on your long put option when the beauty is of no longer use.

We believe we have forwarded my client as a good suitor for your life partner position. Please reconsider your response.

Kiddo & Kiddo LLC
Economist, Accountant and Attorney in law.

Attorney at law ko satta in law lekhiyechha, but it's even better. in-law paryo kya.

Kiddo, you are right. The CEO guy is using the 'accounting' rather than economics.
Pretty is too pretty that any normal man will experience a positively sloping or at least a horizontal marginal utility curve, for at least 10 more years ;). After 10 years, the CEO guy will already be old that he won't be able to gain any positive utility not matter how hot is the commodity.