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 LOVE
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 LOVE

                                  By Giri Bahadur Sunar

When we think about the topic of Love, suddenly impression of romance come in our mind but love isn't simply about romance. Love is powerful energy but not permanent. It is like a flower in the morning which blooms and by the evening it is gone. Sufferers are those who cry for faded flower. The joy of love lies in risk and tragedy otherwise there will not have been so much attraction.

From an evolutionary perspective, love can be viewed as a survival tool which evolved to promote long-term relationships, mutual defense, to promote feelings of safety and security. Every one deserve love but we can truly love another being until and unless we love ourselves, in order to care for others we need to be able to care ourselves. The more love we can feel in our heart that much love we can share to others. Love is a major purpose for living; that connection is inherent in all that we do, and without love, we cannot survive.

Since the time immemorial, there has been great attraction between opposite sex because they are mysterious to each other. Life cannot exist even for a single moment without the opposition. Love is not only about the opposite sex, it can be possible with same sex, parents, children, animal, nature, country, things, guru, god and goddess. People have different ways of showing their love, we have to understand it. True love is accepting other’s as they are, not as we want them to be, healthy love is steady understanding of who other people are. True love is not only the capacity to give but also opening the heart to receive. True love offers mutual support, a common vision and a freedom to grow individually in support of each other.

Ordinary love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. Frequently, we talk about love being blind, in the sense that we have no control over it. We cannot love without accepting that there is always a chance of loss or hurt that is why love is so powerful, the stake is high, so the reward are higher. Ordinary love is falling in love; such love usually involves possessiveness, compromise, need and obligation. It’s a sense of hopelessly longing for someone who can fill the emptiness. It can also be a desire to turn partner into a parental substitute who can take care. A relationship based on need, fear of loss or co-dependency reflects a false sense of security. Such conditions do not foster healthy growth in a relationship.

We should not forget the fact of unconditional and one-sided love of Rajput princess Meera Bai. There is a big gap between the living of lord Krishna and Meera bai. It is said that when Meera was just four years of age, she manifested her deep devotion to Krishna.  According to the story, Meera watched a marriage procession in front of her residence when she was a child. She spotted the well-dressed bridegroom, asked her mother innocently, "dear mother, who will be my bridegroom?" Meera’s mother smiled, and half in jest and half in earnest, pointed towards the image of lord Krishna and said, "My dear Meera, Lord Krishna, this beautiful fellow is going to be your bridegroom".  Soon after, Meera’s mother passed away and Meera grew up, her desire to be with her Krishna grown intensely and she believed that Lord Krishna would come to marry her, if he could accept a cowherd Radha as his dear consort. In due course of time, she became firmly convinced that Krishna was to be her husband. Meera was in love with Krishna though he was the lord of different age. Meera broke all norms and value of royal living, left her family; bore scandalous blames to follow the path of devotion.

Meera’s unconditional, selfless love and complete surrender to Krishna gave her sacred place in the history of Hindu thought and culture for her deep and passionate religious devotion. It is believed that she conquered Krishna through her love and devotion. Her love poetry expresses intense passion and devotion for Krishna, the odes and hymns are so rich, sweet and inspiring, not because of any high rhetoric or dexterity of language, but because they are characterized by a tenderness and simplicity of feeling as genuine outpourings of a heart completely dedicated to lord Krishna. The relation of Meera and lord Krishna became the dominate theme for poets, devotee, painters and artist to work on.

According to the devotee of lord Krishna, “Krishna’s way of loving is different, it is eternal and unbounded. Love to him and love for him is governed by clear heart, if our mind is full of dirt with full of ambition and garbage than it is impossible to connect with Krishna. A clean heart is the criterion to have love relation with Krishna. One can love Krishna as the omniscient, omnipotent God, the loving master, the dearest friend, the sweetest child and the supreme lover. Loving Krishna with devotion is the easiest and simplest form of love where there is no tragedy and pain of separation.”

The expectations and desire for love from other is disempowering the true love for self and others. Love is a risky game, giving love does not guarantee of receiving but we should have courage of devotion without expectation as Meera did. Unconditional love is like loving to our children and pet, where we have no desire to have in return. It is like a running river, keeps on going toward ocean and never return via same root. In such love there is no division of “you” and “I”, both body melt and merge into oneness as river and ocean becomes one but our ordinary type of love has existence of “you” and “I”, your daughter and my son, your country and my country, your religion and my religion, your Krishna and my Allah. Real Love is beyond the “I” and “you”. Our love is a relationship and when love is a relationship, it creates misery. When love is state of being, it creates bliss.

Osho says, “Just as the body needs food, the soul needs love. It is the spiritual nourishment without the food, air and water” Human being are perishable but love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.

Falling in love is romantic desperation while rising in love is romantic inspiration. Rising in love is living in present, it is empowering, yet not controlling. Who can freely give and receive unconditional love, can enter a holy relationship and rise in love. It is opening up and surrendering to higher levels of love and intimacy in relationship. When we have expectation of love from other than it is conditional love. It is like a business. In losing love at times in life, we must learn to appreciate and respect the beloved one, remembering those good times which were shared together. True love can be felt in absence of beloved one, the desire for meeting in every single moment and the feeling of breathlessness.

Usually, lovers are not able to figure out difference between sex and love, for them sex is love and love is sex. Sex could be part of love but, sex could not be love for lasting affairs because sex is temporary which come with the age and disappear with the maturity. Sex is biology response, a play of hormone and process of reproduction. Sex is equivalent to a desire for food; the body is always hankering for something new unless something more than sexual relation arise, something higher, something spiritual as the love of Meera and Krishna. Sex is lowest step of ladder while love is on the highest. A real relationship can never compete with a fantasy and sexual attraction. The physical excitement must turn into spiritual excitement otherwise there will be always pain and tragedy. 



The author is martial artist, a meditation practitioner and a sociologist by profession

girithejorba@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 


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