http://www.plaantik.com/the-mystery-man-rants-cristiano-ronaldo-is-overrated/

Back in 2000-something, a kid with one of the worst cases of highlighted hair ever joined Manchester United. Who would have thought this kid would one day become the world’s most overrated player? Yes, Cristiano Ronaldo is overrated. Why? Contrary to popular opinion, Cristiano Ronaldo isn’t really “oh-so-holy”. Simply because he has only had two good years to be considered one of the best in the world, 2008 and 2009.

“YOU KNOW NOTHING. He scores so many goals! And does amazing tricks!”

Give me a break. Most of Cristiano’s goals are tap-ins. He scored a grand total of 0 solo goals this year. He also scored 12 penalty kicks. TWELVE. Most of Cristiano’s goals are a consequence of the fact that La Liga’s defensive ability is on the same level as Dirk Kuyt’s level of sexiness (which is zero btw, Liverpool fans).

“Then explain his powerful shots. He is like THE best free kick taker in the world!”

I don’t know where this opinion ever came from. Half of Ronaldo’s free kicks hit some poor fat kid in row Z in the stadium and most of the others hit the unfortunate men in the wall. If a truly great free kick taker like Juninho (yes, not Beckham) was given the amount of free kick opportunities as Ronaldo gets, he’d score tons more. Ronaldo is crap at free kicks. Accept it.

“He’s a World Player of the Year winner!”

You know you are a Ronaldo fanboy when you make this pointless argument. What you fail to realize is that it’s an award which is decided by votes from national team captains and managers isn’t really very accurate. This is the same panel which decided Andres Iniesta was better than Wesley Sneijder in 2010 even though he was injured for half the season. These people couldn’t make a decent judgment of footballing ability if it hit them in the head.

“He is the complete footballer! He has it all!”

The most agonizingly frequent argument made by Ronaldo fanboys, the apparent fact that he is the complete footballer. One who can do it all. Score with both feet! Aerial ability! Set-pieces! Goes to show the IQ level of his fans. In his career, Cristiano Ronaldo has played in two positions, right wing and left wing. He doesn’t have the technique or the discipline to play in midfield. Nor is he brilliant defensively. He has had 36 assists in the last three years and Leo Messi has had 60. He is by no means a “complete” footballer. The only thing “complete” about him is that he’s a “complete” douchebag.

“Cristiano is the most expensive player ever! And better looking than you btw.”

So? What does that have to do with anything at all? Fernando Torres and Andriy Shevchenko combined cost Chelsea 80 million pounds (same amount that Real Madrid paid for Ronaldo). Doesn’t make them the best players in the world.
And where is all this nonsense about him being goodlooking coming from? This is the same dude whose hair is greasy enough to solve the world’s energy crisis. And he wears hotpants! HOT PANTS. Do I really need to go on? Not only is he overrated, but he’s verging on transexuality.

Good grief.

- Mystery Man

Disclaimer : WHO IS THIS MYSTERY MAN?! As you may have noticed…Mr. Mystery Man is controversial. He hates on a lot of things.. and this is only a taste. He chose to be anonymous and we would like to keep it that way. This is just to let you know that Plaantik may not necessarily share the same views as the Mr. Who here, so don’t get all charged up.

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