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 What has been your most unexpected betrayal and what did you learn from it?
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Posted on 12-01-16 3:47 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Interesting story I read today.

I was betrayed by a woman I saved from abuse. She cost me a high paying job and a relationship I am still working to mend.

I I'll preface this story with this. I am extremely naive, I take everyone at face value and tend not to question people’s motives/stories.

I had just moved to a new City, State for a job. Around that time I was still in a relationship, but I was going through a very rough patch with my girlfriend. The distance, the indecision about joining me in my new city and other issues we'd encountered over the 4 years we had been dating had taken a toll on me so I decided I would tell her it was time for a break, and so I did.


Enter “Zarah” (fictitious name). She was new at my work place, working the mail room. She was a 26 year old petite Pakistani girl with an accent and a very sweet personality. I’d see her everyday and she always had a great smile and positive attitude when interacting with people. Being that I often had to send urgent legal papers to our partner Law Firms I’d often end up in the Mailroom chatting with Zarah.

  • DISCLAIMER: Not Zarah! This is a random Google Image pic to give you an idea.

After a few visits we ended up becoming more familiar with one another and conversations went from “How was your weekend?” to more inquisitive questions like “Where are you from?”, “How old are you?” and such. Soon there were prying questions on both ends, being that I was technically single at that point I did not mind the attention, and I assumed she was as well because she would engage me with no indication she was taken.


During one of our random chats via work Instant Messenger she had mentioned she dreamed of moving to Paris, France one day. I was intrigued by that, why did a Pakistani girl, new to the U.S. now want to move to France? and when I inquired why she would chose Paris in particular she told me it was her “hubbys” dream place to settle.

SHE WAS MARRIED. At this point I was confused, but figured this was her way of telling me all she was after was a work friendship, nothing more which was fine with me as I was not over my “ex” and did not want to further complicate things; but so not to seem like my sole intent was to have something deeper than friendship with her I kept engaging her in conversations the same way I had done before.Still chatty and friendly, except I was less inquisitive.

She was just as receptive as she had been before, and in time I found she started to open up and tell me more about her marriage, and specifically about her husband. She narrated to me about the hell she had been silently living in for the past 5 years, being married to an abusive, alcoholic cheating husband who she was no longer sure she was in love with. She told me he was manipulative, verbally and physically abusive, and that she was in fear of him as he had bought a gun and threatened to kill her and himself if she ever tried to leave.

I felt for her and we soon became close, I started opening up to her, about myself and my own relationship which at that time seemed to be failing after 4 long years of trying. We found solace in each other, and one night when she called me in tears, saying her husband had thrown her out of their home and she had no place to go, despite having only known her for 2 weeks, with no hesitation I invited her to come stay with me.


When she moved in, I gave her my master bedroom and would sleep in the spare one or the couch. Despite my closet being in the master bedroom I’d never enter it unless she was out, so not to make her uncomfortable. As time went on and I learned more about her situation, things did not add up.

For starter, she had told me her husband had thrown her out after making up lies she had been cheating. According to Islamic tradition if a husband throws out his wife, he must sort of re-marry her in order to accept her back. Her husband was willing to do so, but only if she would have her father personally apologies to him for what she did.

Why would she humiliate her father if she had not done any transgressions towards her husband? But she asked her father to do it, and he did. That was the first red flag for me. The second one was that despite her outer image of shy and decent woman, she would find ways to lure me into the bedroom, despite me resisting. She would call me over and I’d stand by the door, she’d ask me to sit on the bed as she laid on it, I’d sit on the floor, each time almost begging for me to sit on it, acting concerned.

Soon I found out through coworkers that she had been sleeping with an employee at work. It was earth shattering news to me because at the time I found out, I myself had gotten intimate with her once and by then had been pushing away my “ex” who was eager to work things out and finally wanted to move in with me.

To make things worse, one day as we returned to my apartment from grocery shopping we noticed a black car slowly approaching, I had never seen this car in my complex parking area, and it was slowly following us by the side as we walked toward my apartment. A man rolled down the window and said “Zarah!” IT WAS HER HUSBAND!

I was partly nervous, partly in shock because I could not understand how he had found where I lived and did not know what to expect. He called out to her, again, and I asked her to keep walking as I was ready to confront him and send him away. She asked me to go, but I chose to stay, heart racing but ready to risk my life for her if it came down to it. He walked up to us, calmly and politely greeted me, and I was so confused. No fighting? No attempt to hurt her? NO GUN? he asked me if I would allow him a moment with his wife (still polite as ever) I reluctantly agreed as she also asked me to leave as they needed to talk, so I walked away. 10–15 minutes went by, and felt like an eternity as I panicked wondering if I had made a huge mistake leaving her alone with him. Had he hit her? had he driven off with her planning to kill her and himself? I was embarrassed to admit it, but I even wondered, had they reconciled and would she leave and go back to him? all those questions kept ringing in my head as I paced back and forth in my living room - then suddenly a knock at my door. There she stood, unharmed, he had simply talked to her.

I did not want to question her to much, so I initially hesitated, but after giving her a hug and offering her a sit on the couch next to me I asked her how he had found us, and if she had told him my address, and why which she denied. She claimed he had a GPS tracking app on her phone and could track her location anywhere she went…(But why didn't he come sooner then?) It didn't make sense, but I still chose to believe her.

Things became weirder as time went on and I grew more inquisitive of her circumstances, I realized she had made up some lies, events did not match as she would fail to recall stories and details she had told me, I even found out she was not alone after all as her parents lived only 20 minutes away from me and had begged her to come stay with them rather than be at a strangers home which was the opposite of what I was lead to believe. I once overheard her conversation with her husband and could tell there was some discrepancies to her stories. The inconsistencies and my instinct told me to take a break from her, so I politely asked her to move out temporarily. I eventually found out she had lied to me and went on a trip with her husband behind my back while I took a break from spending time with her. Due to some wrongdoings on my part incited by her, I was terminated from my job and she was terminated as well shortly after, but before she was she went around telling other employees I was a psychopath, had been stealing from the company (NOT TRUE) and made up a story that I wanted her and became upset with her because she wanted to go back to her husband. Her demonizing was so elaborate that when I broke things off, rather than asking for her belongings back like normal people she requested a police escort, claiming I was angry and dangerous, after they helped her gather her things she went as far as to have them escort her to our place of work for my ex coworkers to see and have the impression I was an abusive boyfriend!!!

THE MAN THAT HAD SAVED HER WAS NOW THE NEW ABUSER! I quickly realized her husband was likely not the shady evil man she made him out to be, he was actually a victim of defamation, just like myself. I had been duped by a woman that played victim anytime things did not go her way. I am now back to my old city, and look back at this experience knowing I am naive and cannot trust people.

LESSON LEARNED: Watch who you help, because those same people can destroy you.


 
Posted on 12-01-16 4:37 PM     [Snapshot: 45]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Last edited: 08-Dec-16 05:23 PM

 


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