Subject: Two New Elements Added To The Periodic Table...
Two new elements added to the Periodic Table of the Elements:
1. Element Name: WOMANIUM
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (Don't even go there)
Physical Properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing
and may freeze at any time. Melts when treated properly. Very Bitter if
not used well.
Chemical Properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong
affinity with gold, silver, platinum and precious stones. Violent when
left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when
placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of
wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.
2. Element Name: MANIUM
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of
shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure
sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to create electricity.
Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with any WO any chance it can get.
Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when
mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged periods of time.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able
to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and
begins to smell
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