WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been
told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING: I envision a world where all chickens will be free
to
cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road and that was good
enough
for us.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to
cross the road. It's plain and simple as that.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion, and we were
quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him
down.
THE BIBLE: And God come down from the heavens, and said unto the
chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road and there
was much rejoicing.
COL. SANDERS: I missed one?
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