Male Female and E-mail

By: Vinaya Kasajoo

Since the emergence of human beings the Earth is dominated by male and female. Although they had great differences and there was continuous conflict between them, they lived together and produced living beings just like themselves, either male or female. Now, after more than ten thousands years long communication between them, they have given birth to E-mail.

Male and female may either love or hate each other but both male and female love E-mail, their brain child. That is why all male and female, living under cyberspace turn his or her computer every morning and evening to play with E-mail. His/her happiness knows no bound when he/she discovers E-mail in the liquid crystal display (LCD) screen or monitor, most of which are colourful.

It seems that the days of Gutenberg-male and Gutenberg-female are counted. They did enough to dominate and shape our civilisation. Now the dream of a paper-less office has become reality since 1980s, when the electronic-male and electronic-female began to exchange mail electronically, using computer - popularly known as E-mail.

The birth of E-mail became possible only when computer married with a hardware dame, well known as Modem. Poor computer cannot talk on telephone unless Madame Modem modulates and demodulates his message. She converts analogue (telephone) signals to digital (computer) and vice versa. She handles the data for the computer quite efficiently.

Modems come in different shapes and sizes, and they have different working speeds. Some Modems like to live inside the computers and be a part of the Central Processing Units (CPU) sharing the same source of power. Though they cannot be seen from outside their activities are visible in the screen. External Modems are also quite handy. They prefer to meet their fianc?es at Serial Port , rather than Sea Port, and pay their bill to the Electricity Authority themselves.

While at work, Modems like to indicate that they are busy by beeping and hissing, since they work at a tremendous speed - from 2400 to 28800 bits per seconds (BPS) . No warm bodied madam can work in such a tremendous speed. Thanks to the Madam Modem and her lovely Email the globe has turned into a small village.

(Published in The Kathmandu Post/ Sunday Post, Nov.30, 1997.)

warning: reading this article will lower your IQ. nuthin against the author, tho.

What a doltish article (no offense to the author). More informative than comparison. If you really want to compare computer with human, here it is.

The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to as
masculine because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time,
they ARE the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that,if you had waited a
little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be
referred to as feminine because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later
retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your paycheck on accessories for it.

Correction: "More informative than comparative"