A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are In the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold."
A few days later, the father says to! the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends Like that that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take You to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again,you're in my closet now."

A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just staring at his drink. He sat like that for about half an hour until a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs the drink from the guy & just drinks it all down.

The poor man started crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man! I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand a man crying."

"No, it's not that," said the guy. "This is the worst day of my life. First, I over slept & arrived late for work. My boss fired me. When I left the office building for the parking lot, I found out that my car was stolen. The police said that they can't do anything. I then got into a cab to return home but remembered after the driver drove off that I have left my wallet with all my credit cards in the cab."

"When I entered my house, I found my wife in bed with the gardener. Very depressed & disheartened, I came to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink all my poison."