I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your letters over the past ten years. Thank you for making me feel safe,
secure, blessed, and wealthy.
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Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
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I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
-------------
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
------------
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.
------------
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.
-------------
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
------------
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al
Qaeda in disguise.
--------
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
troops.
--------
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid
number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
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I no longer eat prepackaged foods because the estrogens they contain will
turn me gay.
-----------
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.
-----------
I no longer go to bars because someone will drug me and take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
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Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an email to 7 of my friends and make a wish within minutes.
-----------
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who has been
dying for the past seven years.
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I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program.
----------------
I will now return the favor.
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If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will fly over your head at 5:00 pm and
the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will
occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's
neighbor's cousin, and he's a lawyer
:-P

View/Share this post only

SO HERES SOMETHING THAT I WANTED TO BRING TO EVERYONES NOTICE.... PLEASE STOP YOUR STUPID FORWARDS WARNING ME THAT IF I DONT FORWARD THE CHAIN LETTER SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN....YES NOT SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN... TO YOU IF U SEND ME THOSE F**KING CHAIN LETTERS TO ME AGAIN....IF U FWD HILARIOUS STUFF..THATS OK...BUT THE IRRITATING CHAIN LETTERS NO ONE CAN BEAR....SO STOP IT!!!WHOEVER IS STARTING THE STUPID SHIT..I HAVE FORWARDED THIS MAIL TO ALL IN MY CONTACT LIST AND I DONT EXPECT TO GET THIS BACK..IF U DO HAVE COMMENTS YOU CAN REPLY THO...AND OH SPREADING THIS MESSAGE IS A GOOD IDEA...IT TOOK ME AROUND 2 HOURDS TO COMPOSE THIS MAIL AND IF YOU DONT HEED MY WARNING THEN HERES A CURSE TO YOU::~~~~::~~::~~"May your armpits be infested by the fleas of a thousand camels"

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* (scroll down)

* Make a wish!!!

* No, really, go on and make one!!!

* Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!

* Wish something else!!!

* Not that, you pervert!!

* Is your finger getting tired yet?

* STOP!!!!

* Wasn't that fun? :)

Hope you made a great wish:)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true!

Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!!

Really!!! Here's how it goes:

Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.

Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~||||||||||||||||||||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutley no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit.

So go on, reach out.

Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|||||||||||||||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

Bizarre Horror Story #1

Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.

This Could Happen To You!!!

Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|||||||||~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THIS IS NO JOKE TAKE FOR REAL OR GET YOUR BALLS BUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!