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Rythm
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 Pangs of Lonliness

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Posted on 11-13-05 7:22 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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My Immemse boredom and Nirman jyu's accusation of me neing lazy has driven me to post this story. Isn't much of a story but well does it matter?


Her eyes flickered and then suddenly popped open, was she dreaming? She tried to think what had happened last night and why did she feel a dull ache in her head? Had she been drunk last night? Was it morning or has she fallen asleep during the afternoon? She tried to concentrate very hard which only added to the unknown headache. Thinking that it would be better to step to the bathroom before trying to make anything out, she got out of bed. She was not wearing anything except the skimpy undergarments. That was weird, she never undressed for bed! As she looked at the mirror and noticed her swollen eyes it all came back to her. The intensity of realization and awareness hit her so hard that she dropped down to the floor. She was not weak, she had never been a fragile creature who needed other people?s support. Yet when she had ultimately needed someone and had extended her hand for help, no one was there to grab it!

She shut her eyes close and begged it all to go away, but it was imprinted on her mind like it was the basis of her survival. She pushed away the long strand of hair from her face and determinedly made her way to the shower. It was not the end of the world! Mom and dad would never know what had happened. She felt an unknown hollowness in her abdomen. She tried running her hand through it but she did not feel a thing. No living monster inside to haunt her and no sickness that prevented her from going to college in the morning. Everything was back to normal, or was it? She turned on the shower and closed her eyes. She let herself dissolve in the warm sensation of the needle-like thrust of her shower. If it were knives showering down towards her rather than the water she would be able to take that pain much easier.

She closed her eyes and there it was-- the monster that had haunted her. It had not gone away yet, it was still imprinted on her mind. It was still holding on to her; threatening to take her soul away with it down to eternal suffering. She wanted help; she wanted to escape this loneliness. Should she call him? The thought only lingered for a minute before she shoved it away. No she could not do that! He had thoughtlessly ended their so-called relationship before she could even tell him about the baby. "The baby"? her soul cried out again as a sharp dagger pierced her heart. How could have she thought of the innocent soul as a monster who was set on ruining her life? How could she have killed her own child?

She stepped out of the shower and looked at the mirror as two brown eyes looked back at her. She could not see the sadness in the eyes or the lost look of the 19 year old. All she saw was a pale girl with serpent-like hair staring back at her. She hated that face, hated the mirror and loathed herself for being herself. He had been a charming 25 year old who she had fallen for instantly. He had promised the stars to her, spoken words of love and she had thought he was her soul mate. She had never asked for anything, had it taken granted that he promised it all with his eyes. After a few months, when least expected, he had called everything off. She had too much ego to ask for a reason, but deep inside she was devastated. Having discovered of her situation only a day ago she was a lost soul not knowing what to do.

And today she did not know where to go and who to have faith on. She changed and applied some make up carelessly. She decided to take a walk outside ? going anywhere that her feet took her. It seemed like she was walking through those roads for the first time in her life. Everything seemed cold and unfamiliar. But on the cold and strange street there was a corner where warmth glowed, a corner that eliminated closeness and love. Who else to confide on than her mother? She rang the bell and nervously waited for her mother to answer, her palms all sweaty and her throat going dry. Her mother had been her best friend, her confidant, her confidence and yet she had hid it all from her, never told her about him or the baby. How would she face her?

"Darling, I am so glad to see you I had started thinking that you had forgotten us." Her mother literally beamed at her.

"Ma I have something to say to you"

"What is it? Is something wrong at school?"

"Ma, I have to say this to you or I will die. I know you will hate me for this but I can't hold it in anymore, it's choking me. I just had an abortion last night. I was 3 months pregnant, and I had no idea of what to do. I didn?t tell you because I was scared. And now I need someone to hold me and tell me its alright. Someone to stand beside me."

Ma's face looked like it was made of granite. Her face was emotionless and gone was the love, the compassion and before her stood a lady she had never known. "I think you should leave now," was all she said.

She ran out of the house. The tears were blinding her, the emptiness killing her. She would have understood ma?s anger, but could not understand her rejection. The loneliness creeped inside her. Realization sunk in, it was her battle and she had gone in it alone. She had made the decisions herself and now had to go through the consequences alone. She had destroyed her real companion last night so isn?t the emptiness what she deserves? Maybe its fate or maybe its destiny but she is going to be a survivor!

 
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Posted on 11-13-05 7:38 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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The Battle Has Begun...Let the Surviver rule!!!!...:)
Best of luck from my side to her...Want to read MORE MORE MORE...:)
WRITE WRITE WRITE!!! ...:D

 
Posted on 11-13-05 7:42 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Rythm ji,
Read your story after a long time, its perfectly narrated. Hope to read other episodes. Keep it coming.
 
Posted on 11-13-05 7:47 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hehe I dunno what to put on the next episode:|... Have to think too much lol. anyway thanks for reading
 
Posted on 11-13-05 7:58 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Rythm,

Enjoyed the read. Your hapless heroine has my full sympathy - I for one wouldn't know what I would do if I were to be in her shoes, to be honest but hope that hers are only pasing pangs of loneliness and that she'll hobble back to her usual elements before long. Here's to her! :)

Your story has seamless flow and like your name, rythm in abundance. Please do keep them coming.
******************************************************************
Oheeeyyy.... hey you two Rose and Nirman... laakhes hai ta..
Playing hookey eh, instead of studying - bhandinchhu guru baabu haaru laai. lau jaa. ::))

Nirman, Weirdoooooo re? Ko, Mei-triks? Now I know her second nick! :)

Stay tuned. Carpe diem.
 
Posted on 11-13-05 8:01 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Maybe its fate or maybe its destiny but she is going to be a survivor!
Rhythm,
Well written. Looking forward to reading next episode.. keep it up.

 
Posted on 11-13-05 10:03 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Great stuff, Rythm. I could hug that girl in the story :)

Get published!

:)
 
Posted on 11-13-05 10:19 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Speechless!!!!

 
Posted on 11-13-05 11:01 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Another Girl's story..he he :D It goes around relationship and only it...dont you have some adventure in your life girls?? getting into relationship too seriously and facing the concequences and still naging for it is all what girls do and imagine...comeon have some break ,there are some other interesting thing in life to do.

But I do Admire the simple yet appropriate word choice of Rythm, unlike those wannabes linguistists using words which nobody has heared of.

My small suggestion Rythm, now can you please twistthis story to some adventure...the challange that girl faced being alone...and blah blah dont start with feri she got another boyfren and so hai...he he Be practical yaar.


 
Posted on 11-13-05 11:26 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well I thank everyone for reading my story.:)

Sense.. Afterall it is a story.. lol dont take it seriously.. and I dont think that I am going to extend this story.. BUT if I do i promise you that I wont make her fall for yet another guy.. hehe thanks for the advice!
 
Posted on 11-13-05 12:14 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Its better this way Rythm...We can imagine the later part..:)...She is surviver!!!
Don't Extend it...WRITE ANOTHER STORY...:D
Me *Waiting*...:)

 
Posted on 11-13-05 12:17 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Oops Ji chhutechha....
READ Rythm as Rythmji...:D

 
Posted on 11-13-05 12:19 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Diplomacy ko eeuta namuna..Nirman ko last posting...Hehe:)
 
Posted on 11-13-05 12:20 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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snese makes sense :P:P
 
Posted on 11-13-05 2:08 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Interesting read ...really interesting rythm. I was actually visualizing the aftermath of abortion through your stories.....it makes me wonder again, why do women have to be the victim all the time? I would rather want a fair trade....men bearing every odd number of child and women bearing even. How could nature science be so biased.
 
Posted on 11-13-05 5:20 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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It makes me wonder again, why do women have to be the victim all the time?

Why? are you kidding me, or you should get an oscar for your performance :)

XX: You know what? Men are assholes. I hate them. They are all the same.
XY: Are they?
a week later
XX: You know what? I met this guy. He's so different from other guys.
XY: Is he?
a month later
XX: you know what? Men are assholes. I hate them. They are all the same.
XY: really?
A week later
XX: you know what? I met this guy. He's so different from all other guys.
I think its a perfect fair trade here. Read beyond the lines if you can.

As for the original writer's so called FICTIOUS STORY, we'll have to sit back and wait when she finds her Warrior Prince.
 
Posted on 11-13-05 6:56 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Excuse me Mr. SNURP??? I did not really get the point of you whole wierd conversation. Could you be more clear about what you were trying to say about my SO CALLED FICTIOUS story!!
 
Posted on 11-13-05 7:16 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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rythm sis!!it meant ur story got the some 'mssg' sent ke!!watever mssg the other person got..ke tha ..diff ppl diff things ;oP hehe..and yap u been lazy!!!:@..good nirman accused u!!which was the truth anyways ..u know it too re kya ;oP hehe...

anyways write more hai..time to time ;o)..and we are but all destined to try and survive hoina?:oD
-----------------
and snurp bro(?)...duh!!its a mens world!!!well thats wat i noticed and experienced in me life so far anyways ;o) hehe...its just a story sheesh..;oP...plus me sis wrote it!:@ im bias!(if not i think i can feel u re kya ;oP hehe and nope i aint gay!:o| not that anythign wrong with being gay..but im not :oS...so just making sure no misunderstanding ke ;oP hehe..)

ani snurp bro hope to hear some victimised guy ko story ..im sure u have some ;o)...cos yap lots of us victims out there..guys or gals :oS...so pls share ;o)....and let them(ketis ;oP) read it too!!!!woohoooooo!!!:oD....

and about the Warrior prince..hopefully the girl in the Fictious Story has realised she is a warrior herself ;o)..and prince or not...she can..she must..she will have to fight :oD...dyam why do we seek peace when in the end..we are born to fight in this world!!fight for our so called rights...fight for oh well u know..everythign and nothing ;oP hehe...and oh yah..snurp bro why sit and wait...if u can do smthing about it...why not show 'her' the warrior in u ;o)...we all are warriors arent we ;o) hehe


la la enuf typed hehe..dun mind me!!Wohooooo :oD

good day :oD...
 
Posted on 11-13-05 7:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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In Short: The Stupid Shall be punished! (unpublished source)

xx stands for the princess, and xy stands for the Jester. Feel free to interpret ;)
 
Posted on 11-13-05 10:55 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Snurpo.. u are reeking with malice. Lay off would ya. Constructive criticism osis one thing, yours obviouisly isnt. Find a rock . Rythm,,,kudos. :) how very brave of you , keep em comin.I have known in my time , a couple of lost gals like that.My heart went out to this one.

gone with the wind...
 
Posted on 11-13-05 11:53 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Snurp...

Let me elaborate.....I was talking about being victimized anatomically....not emotionally. I can understand your concern over guys undergoing through the same trauma....but definitlely not physically as women do.

It is a praiseworthy effort from rythm and I believe life is too short for animadversions, just enjoy and read this lovely story....not everything has to be scrutinized under an eye glass.

As far as oscar goes....i honestly think I deserve more...because it is not a feigned performance...I always know what I say.


 



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