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Rythm
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 Eternal doom
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Posted on 11-20-05 12:57 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Daddy was out looking for her again, she could sense him find his way into the dark room. She did not understand why daddy would come to her bedroom at nights and touch her at places. He made her want to run to mommy's bed. But she could not go to Mommy. She could not even tell mommy about the visits daddy paid her. Daddy had made her promise to not tell mommy. Daddy told her that 'god' is going to take mommy away if she found out about daddy's visit. Daddy told her that he is a messenger of god and 'He' had told daddy to pay visits to her at night. God did not want mommy to know about them and if mommy found out, she would have to leave and go to heaven. She did not want to lose mommy.

"Arianna," Daddy whispered into the dead night. "Where are you honey? Daddy just wants to say hello to you baby!"

Arianna tried to shut her eyes and willed her mind to think about something else. Maybe daddy would not find her and would go to sleep. Maybe if she acted like she was asleep and could not hear daddy, then he would just go away!

"Arianna honey, don't make daddy mad, would you want god to get mad at mommy baby?" His whispers filled the room and Arianna's hands grew cold with fear. Before she could know it, someone pulled her out of the protective envelop of blankets. She had taken the blankets to the closet with her. Of course that was a mistake!

"Arianna honey, why do you run away from daddy? All daddy wants to do is love you baby! Daddy thinks you are the best person in the world. You give me the greatest pleasur... We are going to do something new today baby. It might hurt, but god is listening and if you shout or cry, mommy might not be in this world anymore. Do you want that honey?"

Arianna could feel her tiny eyes fill up with tears. Her tiny fingers were filled with sweat. "I am sleepy daddy," she tried her best to act like she was stifling a yawn. When daddy had not come to the room for a week her heart had cried with joy. She had thought it was all over. Oh, how wrong she was.

"This wont take long," daddy said as he undressed her. She could not see what daddy was doing but she could sense that he was fiddling with something. "Now honey, remember what I said about not shouting!"

Nothing happened for a minute, and then she felt the greatest stab of pain between her legs. She tried to stop her cries by biting her hand, but the stabbing pain came back again and again. Unable to control anymore she let out a scream and immediately felt a deathblow on her head. There was no pain anymore. All she saw was a bright red color around her. She heard mommy scream... she felt some hands grab her. She could hear mommy tell daddy that he was a monster. Mommy was sobbing and talking to some people. A deadly silence followed after that and she was lost in a dream world. A world where mommy was hugging and kissing her. They were so happy....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arianna woke up in the middle of the night with cold sweat on her brows. She had dreamt of daddy again. Who was she calling daddy? That monster was not even her father. He was her mother's husband but Arianna did not know who her real father was. She was 23 years old now, and 'the monster' still haunted her. It had been 12 years since mommy had brought her here, but it seemed like it was yesterday. She closed her eyes and tried to push the mental picture away. She tried to forget him, tried to think about mommy and how they would be together some day. But his face came to her mind again and again. He was caressing her, touching her, and then there was a great stab of pain between her legs. Arianna could not take it anymore. She started screaming, shouting, crying. What was wrong with her head? Maybe if her head did not exist anymore all the things in her head would go away! She started banging her head on the wall as hard as she could.

"Doctor, quick she's had another fit." A nurse shouted somewhere.

Two pairs of strong hands grabbed her and pushed her to her bed. Someone was trying to strap her hands, they would not let her destroy his face. They would not let her forget him. They wanted her to hold on to his memory until it suffocated her. They wanted her to suffer an eternal doom! She felt a needle prick her hand and slowly she felt herself slip to unconsciousness. She thought of mommy and her smiling face. 'Please god, make me dream of mommy and not of that devil.....' She prayed as she drifted to an unmerciful sleep.


 
Posted on 11-20-05 1:11 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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nice one, but I didn't really understand some parts of the story but anyway ..
does she die at the end of thr story?
 
Posted on 11-20-05 2:45 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey Rythm,
You write your stories with a psychological gist and most of its sorrounding the sexual side of the woman. Your flow is quite awesome and the expressions doubtlessly beautiful.
Are you a student of psychology student or something?? Just a thiought...:)!!!
And yeah I loved reading the things about psychology, as my sister back home was student of it. The last one I read was the book called "Interpretation of Dreams" by Sigmond Freud. But Alas Never got to complete it. Maybe Some day..:)
But I m very much of glad to see some of great writers of Sajha back on the work. I simply loved it...But as I have blabbered much of the words here...But again I would say this...
I am speechless
Nice one indeed...But the ending seems sad to me...I always like happy endings though..:(...Near to the worldly truths..Ahhhh!!! How I hate worldy truths!!!...Only If I have a angely wand to do the magics, and make everyone happy indeed...:)
 
Posted on 11-20-05 2:55 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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scroll garda gardai aarkhai sanshar ma po pugechu, Nice rythm nice!!
 
Posted on 11-20-05 4:22 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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astonishing, breathtaking and splendid!! ( both the narration and the creation)
keep writing :)



 
Posted on 11-20-05 4:29 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Very nicely written! This is one of the best pieces of writing I have read on sajha. You have an eye for the details and an uncanny way of describing the thoughts and the emotions the protagonist is going through. It's almost like you were feeling the pain yourself while you were writing this.
 
Posted on 11-20-05 4:35 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nice one Rythm. The flow was rythmic indeed. I could feel the pain of Arianna. I wish I could spank the antagonist and save the protagonist from the agony. Touching, very touching...

 
Posted on 11-20-05 6:38 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Kittycat>> The girl does not die in the end. I think that is something that should make a reader sad. Its sort of the conclusion.. sorry you could not understand!

Nirman jyu..>>.. I am infact a psychology student. the subject has always mesmerized me since the time I studied it during my high skool. It wasnt really my major but I switched to psych. recently. Have a lot to learn!!:).

Nepalipoonte..>>.. Hope you liked you journey.. arko sansaar ko!:)

Birkhe Maila..>> I am flattered. Thanks for the extended compliment!:$

John Doe..>> As much as I appreciate your comments, I think I am nowhere near the good writers of sajha. I just try. And when I write I do feel like these things are happening to me. I am glad that I could make you feel that way too! Thankyou.

Hunk in grave..>> Sometimes feeling the pain makes us realize that we are alive. Thanks for feeling the pain with me!

I think I am becoming a bit too emotional today. Hehe... but thanks to all the people that read my story and appreciated it. it would not be complete without you!
 
Posted on 11-20-05 6:44 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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yea it was a sad ending but the "unmerciful sleep" kinda made me think she died!
 
Posted on 11-21-05 8:06 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Enjoyed reading your story, Rhythm.

Do keep it coming - your narrative style has that 'rhythmic' flow in abundance. Look forward to reading yet another grand gripping tale from teh Rhythm land!

Take care.
 
Posted on 11-21-05 8:32 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sisy, i dont think i need to comment cause you know what i think...:D

xoxoxo ;)
 
Posted on 11-21-05 8:37 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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simple and nice.
 


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