My garrulous feelings are suddenly laconic....
inveterate agonies sabotage augmented desires
And yet this shrunken visions find no place in this "utopia" ...
So, wasn't euthanasia my only way out?
And...this is why... i mander alone in this inferno.
captivated by comatose dreams of life...my felicity lies here.....
...here .... where it is so dark..so gloomy....
As..here... my ideosyncracies get nurtured freely!

Like Mahaz said... Gum hi gum nahin hai... kasto depressing poem timro ta felicity!

Felicity sounds like a gal, are you a gal?
कती धेरै भोकाबुलरी हो गाठे
किन हो आजकल सबै हताश र निराश

Jagjit singh
j: har taraf har jagah beshumaar aadamii
l: har taraf har jagah beshumaar aadamii
dono: phir bhI tanhaaiyo.n kA shikaar aadamii

l: subah se shaam tak bojh Dhotaa huA
j: subah se shaam tak bojh Dhotaa huA
j: apanii hii laash kA khud mazaar aadamii

l: har taraf bhaagate dau.Date raaste
har taraf aadamii kA shikaar aadamii

l: roz jItaa huA roz marataa huA
j: roz jItaa huA roz marataa huA
j: har nayii din nayaa i.ntazaar aadamii

j: zindagii kA muqaddar safar Dar safar
l: zindagii kA muqaddar safar Dar safar
dono: aakhirii saa.Ns tak beqaraar aadamii

http://www.cs.wisc.edu/~navin/india/songs/isongs/12/1246.html

Wateva..... I am not depressed... the poem may have sound depressed..but it is actually not... u have to see it through me....like i say i am happy here....... although it is dark and gloomy.....yet i am happy.. so i am not depressed..it is the reader who got depressed... aafno aafno choice.. :)

And...Gwajyo....... what made u think i am a gal?? what really? is it so transparent? or ppl think that sensitivity could be attributed only to gals?

I read my sentence again, and I'm sorry if it sounded rude.

Ummmm yeah no offence honey you sound like a girl... I never said YOU were depressed... I said the poem was rather depressing... English na bujhe I can write it in Nepali in angrezi... No problem with that!

The the first phase of depression.... DENIAL!

Gwajyo... i was just trying to be playful..... wasn't demanding an explanation from u. anyways... I AM a gal.

Wateva..... i know.. hera na..it is so hardto understand english.... k garne?.... tuition linu parla jasto chha timisanga. anyways.. ..... poem sounds distressing bhaye.. i can post a new "happy" one.. okay?... again. we all set up our own standards to measure the feelings hehe.

Ani... well.. i am a gal.. tara i hate being called honey..its just sounds too cheap for me. no offense hai ta?

girls with attitudes;) ahem ahem* hit me
or may be just a work out for first impression...we shall see. :D

attitude aye? well.. then so be it:)

She has no clue why did he even began fighting with her this day. Not that they don’t fight on any trivial matter…. But fighting for no reason at all? How could she even justify this?... against all his accuses on her of deception…the deception ////// that she had no control over… the treachery and crime she actually never committed.

he accuses her of being dual face and makes an issue out of that… until she becomes ugly…and HE becomes ugly…. Things get worse…..their marital bond weakens by yet one more cord. In their hearts… both of them know that it is always this outer force playing to break the bond between them… the force who could have otherwise been the reason of strength.

Well composed piece. Glad that you revealed your felicity, Felicity!

Well well do we actually know whats going on in here?
Hey Felicity, come up with ur concrete story and share with us...we will see what we can do...unless u have any other option.
Let the devine force be with the ones who are breaking a sacred bond for outer world. AMEN

THank u Hunk in grave.
Sense, patience.....!:)
more coming

Middle of the night..he wraps her trembling body in his arms and says sorry….she is way too hurt… but as ever she doesn’t hold any grudges against him…and accept him as he is… after all she has loved him all her life and has mothered his child. And of course… he loves her too… he thinks…. With a fogged mind that she loves him yet she is imperfect… ! his mind poisoned and fogged against the love of his life … by the life that contains too many responsibilities beyond his own control. They both know this and they will perhaps know this that they belong together….. nevertheless, both if them give up to the treacherous scheme of those villain minds.

Abstracts, at times, can be a very powerful force that compels us to gauge deeper.

But by the same token, it risks losing the plot completely. A paragraph a day? Perhaps I should take a leaf out of it and write "mero dainiki" in not more than 5 lines :p.

At the risk of not giving too much, one may as well risk not giving anything at all. :)

;)

Sorry indisguise..... really!

been really really busy. :(

Hopefully will do taht tomorrow.... put more... :)
till then forgive me.

Condition seems to have improved overtime. the shadows of the villains are bit turbid by now…. Letting her life take its own flow pretty much. Sometime he seems so worthless of all these she forsook… but yet other times… she cant even imagine living without him….!! Life as such…. Mockery… deception… or mere hypersensitivity.At times….. she has to admit that….. he is her solace too…….!! And.. still as much her source of agony. She feels this overwhelming love for him still. She starts remembering the times of their courtship… and suddenly… it all makes sense to her…. Their life together.! She cant possibly love any other man as much as she loves him. THere is no memory in the deep recesses of her mind, devoid of him. She has been with her that long...all the nostalgia ends righhts there.

Her short-lived period of happiness…… comes back to square one… !! she had a huge fight over a minute thing!! Funny… but deeply disturbing. Well.. I don’t know what to write here. Sometime I think I as an author… get biased. I tend to be more sympathetic towards her I guess...just my feminine prejudice?.

"Mujhko dil se yehi shikayet hai….. jo usko mil nahi sakta.. kyon uski chaht hai..!!"

Exactly…. She yearns for the man she loved… the one with whom she has married.. not this transformed one. And she is aware of the fact that probably he thinks the same thing…. He feels exactly the same way about her… looking at the transformed her. She doesn’t know who should she hold responsible for this transformation.. that engulfed both of them….. or was that just wrong from very beginning…! What if they were not meant to be…. Well may be that’s it… they were just a mismatched pair from the start. But then between this meant to be or not to be…. Has killed both of their dreams and lives obviously. SHE PONDERS… IS IT BETTE R TO HAVE LOVED HIM ONCE AND LOST HIM… OR WOULD IT HAVE BEEN BETTER NOT TO HAVE LOVED HIM AT ALL. WELL… WHATEVER THE ANSWER MIGHT BE.. SHE CANT UNDO THE PAST.. OFCOURSE..NOT NOW ....when THEY HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO THINK OF TOO. A part of her hates him… and a much bigger part of her loves him and prays to be with him. What an ambivalence. Always a fight between heart and brain. She has always followed her heart… it is high time that she should follow her brain for once…..!!

oh treacherous heart... always plotting some villaneous act against the mind. She thinks of her past....... way back...way back.... more way back.... And yet there is no way, taht her past has not touched him anyway. He was a bigger part of her than she would have liked to thought or admit......! heart doesn't seem like a villain anymore.

He is sleeping...... she sits by the bedside and keep looking at his face... the same visage she deemed worth of killing for.....the same lips she had kissed umpteen of times... And the memory of those kisses fills in her the exact same feeling she had the first day they were together..... She decides...she is meant to be his..... all the fights in between just decipher themselves into an oblivion. If she still still loves him after such long time and despite all fights...... then she is meant to be his. She forsook all her dreams to share his, she left her everyone behind to be with his..... she definetely does love him and she is not gonna let this love of her die. She softly kisses his eylids and vows.... at least on her part, she will pace the first step towards unreeling the transformation. may be they could have their glorious past back.

i just woke up... dunno what i typed away. hope u all will critique me. i could write poetry much easily.... fiction doesn't fall under my territory...just a trial....

thanks