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 Mathematics and Statistics Jokes
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Posted on 05-01-06 7:25 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Another:
Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?
A: `I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times, ...'

Third one:
Q: What is the first derivative of a cow?
A: Prime Rib!

Forth one:
In China, even if you are a one out of a million kind of guy, there are thousands more just like you!!

Fifth one:
"When she told me I was average, she was just being mean".

Sixth one:
A mathematician, applied mathematician and a statistician all apply for the same job. At the interview they are asked the question, what is 1+1. The mathematician replies, "I can prove that it exists but not that it is unique." The applied mathematician after some thought replies, "the answer is approximately 1.99 with an error in the region of 0.01." The statistician steps outside the room, mulls it over for several minutes, and eventually in desparation returns and inquires, "so what do you want it to be?"

Seventh one:
A: "You know how dumb the average person is?"
B: "Well, by definition, half the population is dumber than that!"

The last one:
"Statistics shows that most people are abnormal!"
"How that?"
"According to statistics, a normal person has one breast and one testicle..."


and, that's statistics........
 
Posted on 05-01-06 7:27 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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STATISTICS ARE LIKE GIRLS SKIRT THEY REVEAL MORE THAN THEY HIDE.
 
Posted on 05-01-06 9:16 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Are you saying that "statisticians reveal more than girls hide" or what? double "they" made thing confusing.
 
Posted on 05-01-06 10:09 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Please use "they" only n-1 times. :)
 
Posted on 05-02-06 1:16 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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MP,

so you want a finite series of "they" or some function of it, eh!
 
Posted on 05-04-06 12:32 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Difference between Gun and Woman -

Gun - First load then shoot.
Woman - First shoot then load.
 
Posted on 05-04-06 1:04 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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P(the joke just posted by MeroJageer is a statistics joke) = 0.
 
Posted on 05-04-06 1:43 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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OK, here i think:


Pr(the joke just posted by MeroJageer is a statistics joke) ---> 0 (convergence by probability).
 


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