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 A Different Kind of Freedon
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Posted on 10-20-06 8:14 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Friends, I wrote it about 2 years ago...the language is s**itty but I shoud share thsi experience with people who care....


A DIFFERENT KIND OF FREEDOM

I had to come out to my friends. I mean: I HAD to. Otherwise, like previous years, this year also, I would have to pass an opportunity to participate in an event I had been waiting for such a long time. So, after a long wound-up-background of confusing hints and riddles, I finally got to the point and told them, I am g**y.

I could have told them as soon as they came to the US a month ago. But I thought it was probably not a good idea to tell them right away because they were meeting me after a long time and a sudden break of such news could have a different effect on our friendship. Therefore I waited until we warmed up with each other and it was just like the old days again. Before letting them to my secret, I just wanted to reassure them that I am the same guy that they had known for past 15 years.

Despite all that precautions, it was still hard and yet, not as bad as I thought at first. As doctors, they already knew about the hom*s*xuality, an anomaly on which, only Mother Nature has control.

Anyways, now that I had already dropped the bomb, I could not wait to tell them about this great event also, which was coming up next week. Not only that, with some cajoling, I even had them agree to go and see the “big event” with me. So, there we went, all the way to Chicago, a 5 hours drive from where I lived, to observe “The 36th Annual G**y Pride Parade.” Of course, I had to tell them that the trip was primarily for their sightseeing and observing the Parade was only a part of it.

We went to Chicago a day ahead so that we had ample time for sightseeing. As always, this time also, Chicago did not fail to fascinate me. With its outstanding architecture, clean streets, skyscrapers and history that epitomize the willpower of human, it is a great city. The next day was saved for visiting the Sears tower and the long awaited G**y Parade.

It was already 2 pm, the next day, when we got off from the bus on our way from Sears Tower. Since most of the streets in Boystown (a g**y established area) were blocked for the parade that day, we had to walk quite a while before we could get to the eventful Halstead Street. We made it there just in time to see the parade passing by. I had been to Halstead Street before and I liked it not only because it was the main g**y street but also it was clean and nice with good quality restaurants and bars and an ambient atmosphere. But this time, Halstead was different, with thousands of people crammed in to see the Parade, there was hardly any room to put a step; I could hardly tell where was where.

The sight was interesting. People were dressed in vibrant colors, singing and dancing in pulsating rhythms. Quite a few were dressed in drags. Same s*x couples were walking together hand in hand waving at the roadside crowd. G**ys, l**sbians, transs**xuals, transvestites, bis**xuals, straights, all kind of people were there. Windows of all the roadside buildings were full with enthusiastic spectators. All the shops and buildings were decorated with rainbow colored flags proudly representing diversity. All the restaurants and bars were operating out in the open and exuberance was in the air.

The most interesting thing was that when we reached there; about half of the crowd was not even g**y. They were ordinary straight people: mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, friends and relatives of g**ys and a lot of other free willing participants too. They were all there that day because they had in one way or the other seen and suffered the inequality of **xual minorities. They were there because they cared, they were there because they loved and they were there because they believed in the philosophy of live and let live.

My friends were excited to see the glitter of the parade. For them, it was an interesting exploration, an atmosphere they had never experienced before. But for me, it was a time of reflection, a time of sad happiness as I realized that 4 years ago, probably on the same day, I was crying alone in a bathroom trying to console myself that it was just a phase and it would be over, while the truth was that phase never got over. But standing there that day, I felt lucky to have found a place where I was free, not only politically but also socially and spiritually, to express myself.

As I was thinking this, my heart went out to hundreds and thousands of Nepali brothers and sisters who were suffering in their silences every day, every hour, every minute, and probably that very instant also, silently bearing the pain, while, the other side of the world was enjoying freedom. While in Nepal, being g**y or a l**sbian was a shame; here is US, people were not only open about it but also proud of it.

I think I went too deep into my own thoughts that I did not even realize when the Parade passed our block. May be we had reached there at the end of the Parade. I looked at my friends. I felt happy that I had such good friends, not only them, but also many others who tried to understand and accept me despite my different orientation. May be I was too happy at that moment and may be cried again, I do not remember. My blurry eyes could only see the arms of my friends close up my face.

They were hugging me.
 
Posted on 10-20-06 8:51 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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BRAVO! BRAVO!

Freedom, indeed!!!

Glad that you came out of closet and told your friends about it.

Since you told you friends about your sexual preferance about an year ago (considering that the above aticle is not fictional), I would like to know how your friends reacted to it and how your relationship is with your friends now.

-puff
 
Posted on 10-21-06 7:34 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey, looks like at least soemone did read my story.

Yes it is a true story but that was not my first time coming out. I first came out to my ex-gf and to some family members in Nepal (over the phone). After that, I just went out of control...it was so easy to tell anyone! Luckily everyone was very supportive and considerate. All my friends (although some of them were still in Nepal) not only said it was cool but would actually go above and beyond to help me out with my current situation.

One of my friend, from India, after knowing about me but having no clue whatsoever about the g**y issue, actually went out and asked oen of his cleints (who was g**y also) about where I can meet similar people and so on and he would also always accompany me to the g**y bars. His theory was if I could go to the straight bars so many times with him just so that he had good time, he could also do the same for my sake.

Rest of the friends were also like that. All of them were shocked, obviously...it was one thing for them to be cool about g**y, and completely different to actually have your close friedn come out as one, especially, previoulsy, all we talked about was girls!heheh
The first commenst were always wierd from most of them..rather funnay actually. But the closest of my friends/family was this: "And all these years, you suffered within yourself and never told us a word? Why?"....

Anyway,s life became nice and the world seemed Beutiful. I became more open minded an dpositive person. I used to be very judgemental before that. I would always judge people per their personal behaviour and so forth. But coming out experience changed all that. I thought, if everyone could accept me, why cannot I accept everyone? For example, I hated drag queens, they would scare me to death and I hated flamboyant guys; but now, I just see them as people who have chosen not to hide what they are..I may still not completely get along with most of them, I have no hatred for them.

So, that's it....I started dating a few guys... but all were Americans...some good, some not so good. What I needed was Nepali bf, who would understand my jokes and enjoy my music and dances and festivals. Well, I could go only so far in search of a Nepali guy. I met my current bf 1.5 years ago, an Indian, a very smart, cute, hot guy and an engineer too. Now, I am in love.

Yeps, that's my story after coming out.

So, what's up? hahaha...
 
Posted on 10-21-06 10:08 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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A very heartening story. Congratulations on your new freedom. On your point about not being judgemental, it is so true that being quick to judge is often the result of a sense of entitlement, arrogance and ignorance and I am happy that you had certain expereinces in life that allowed you to accept others as they are and shed the cloak of vanity and judgement.

Best wishes.
 
Posted on 10-21-06 11:48 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Some people cannot tolerate the difference they see in others. For me, they are certainly the people with lower mental capabilities. You are one of the lucky ones to be surrounded by people who accept and love you. Congratulations. :)
 
Posted on 10-21-06 7:27 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks guys!
You guys are awesome! I wish for good luck to other Nepali friends (most of whom secretly read this blog but do not feel comfortable in putting in a comment), for their coming out too!
 
Posted on 10-21-06 7:41 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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good to know your dear one and near ones care you......
 


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