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 Sajha Gazer ~ When Reena Married Jason - Notes on a Marriage

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Posted on 03-25-07 12:09 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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PART 1 : WHEN REENA MARRIED JASON - Notes on a Marriage

Megha Malhar Ballroom, Hotel Soaltee, Kathmandu
----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Throw the lawa in the fire" Shankar, the priest solemnizing the ceremony quickly grinned at those around him, amused at his own English, as he ordered the groom and bride to perform the age old wedding ritual of worshiping the fire god . They had decided to have a watered down Hindu wedding ceremony to be completed in no more than an hour in Kathmandu and a US-style reception in San Francisco upon their return to the US. Reena and Jason promptly followed the priests orders as family members and guests looked on - the groom's with curiosity and polite smiles, the bride's with visible traces of boredom on their faces.

"I like this idea of a short-cut marriage" opined Arun uncle, husband of Reena's mother's best friend. "It's so quick, no hassles, saves time and money not to mention having to stay up all night if the sahit is at some ungodly hour"

"It is easy to say that when it is someone else's daughter" Kamala aunty rebuked Arun uncle "I would want my daughter to get married with full rites and rituals. Sharmila didi's son did a short-cut too and they got divorced in less than a year. Sharmila di is regretting it to this day" Her tone was hushed perhaps because she did not want anyone to find out how superstitious she really was about weddings.

This was one of numerous side conversations going on as the bride and groom sat cross-legged in the jagya. In some sense this was a typical upper-class, upper caste Nepali wedding. Or at least how such weddings were turning out to be those days amongst the privileged few. The fire in the jagya was fueled by spoon-fulls of ghee thrown in every two minutes or so by the main priest or his assistant as they took turns to chant Vedic hymns. The five pheras were performed at a quick pace with a long silk scarf tied on one end to Reena's lehenga and to Jason's finger on the other. A shortened Kanya dan followed and the ceremony was complete in exactly one hour and five minutes. A reception with a guest list that resembled the country's who-is-who followed.

It was a wedding to remember and bridge and groom were happy and madly in love.

***

Lunch room, MacKanZoo and Company, Hong Kong
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jason was introduced to Reena in the lunch room of their Hong Kong office. He was a fellow associate at the LA office of their word-famous management consulting firm. Diversity was greatly valued at the firm: you didn't have to go to Harvard or Stanford to join the company, you could be from Kellog or Wharton too. And in the operations department, they were even taking in UCLA grads. Or so the joke went amongst the company's detractors and those who never got to sneak their foot past the door.

Both Reena and Jason were on the same two-week project in Hong Kong. Jason's good looks struck Reena the moment they were introduced but she did not give it more than a passing thought as her mind was deeply engrossed in the contents of a power point presentation on the impact of global capital markets on government policy.

Hong Kong is a beautiful city but when you are several thousand miles away from home and you have visited every tourist spot that you possibly can on a business trip, evenings and weekends even in a vibrant city like this can get dull. So when Reena ran into Jason at the elevator of their hotel that weekend, she had a sudden urge to ask Jason what he was doing that night. For some reason she did not. Both checked their work emails instead, ordered room service and turned out the bedside lights in their respective rooms.

A week later, they were seated in Cathay Pacific business class enroute to San Francisco. After what had transpired during the remainder of the week, they could only but ask to be re-seated next to each other on the flight. Jason's smile gave her the butterflies and her calm and composed nature fascinated him in more ways than he was willing to admit.

***

The Bickford residence, Russian Hill, San Francisco
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

You don't fall in love in a week. No matter how great a person is. And not when you are 26 and 28 years. It took them longer than that. After about 2 years of seeing each other, visits to probably every restaurant listed on Zagat, fun-filled vacations and countless sleep-overs at Jason's place followed by made up stories and coverups with her family on the phone, Jason finally proposed. Reena had never wanted to say yes so badly to anything in her entire life. She was the happiest Senior Associate of Strategy Consulting anywhere in the world.

She had never been so happy in her life. She felt so complete and content. She had the perfect job and the perfect life and was the envy of her friends and sometimes the subject of their sharp tongues.

***

University of California, San Francisco Medical Center
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tragedy had never struck Reena before in her life for which she was truly thankful. That was soon to come to an end and when it did strike, it struck hard. Eileen Arati Bickford would have been born 18 months after the wedding. They had taken out a huge mortgage to get ready for what was about to come and were thinking of getting her room ready when their worst nightmares came true. She blamed her busy schedule and crazy hours and the resulting stress for a miscarriage so late into the pregnancy.

It was a day of blood and tears. Jason, normally a composed and laid back person, was visibly shaken when he saw the expression of devastation in her face in the hospital room that night. Denial soon gave way to mourning. Mourning would give way to healing. Or so everyone hoped.

***

Dr Talwar's office, Sausalito, CA
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Eileen decided to see Dr Ashwini Talwar on the recommendation of Triveni Kaur, a co-worker who had gone through relationship problems in her own inter-racial marriage.

The waiting room in the counselors office was empty except for an old man sitting in the corner. On more than one occasion she wondered what she was doing there and the thought of escaping down the back stairs crossed her mind.

"Tell me how you are feeling?" Dr Talwar's question seemed tougher than any she had faced in a boardroom or seminar. The president of the elocution club in high school felt a slight tremor in her legs just the way she had when she forgot a sentence she had learned by rote in the seventh grade.

Reena was miserable. She felt a deep melancholy piercing her from the inside. Jason suddenly seemed so fake. Nothing he said or did was authentic anymore. He hadn't really changed, yet he was so different. He was running around the country working with big-name clients just like he had always done. At times, he seemed to be making too much of an effort to love her. After Reena got pregnant, he was either home during the weekends when he was working with out-of-town clients or by 6 PM when he was based in the local office. In fact it was he who had picked her up from work a couple of times when Reena was in the office chasing tight deadlines and aggressive project plans. After the miscarriage she felt a void of sorts develop between them yet she chose to hide those feelings from him for reasons she was too afraid to admit. Day in and day out she tried her best to make things seem as normal as possible.

"I am fine, I think" she replied and managed an unconvincing smile.

"Is there anything bothering you?" Dr. Talwar maintained a detached tone in her speech.

"I don't know". But she knew. She was just too scared to put it into words. The consequences of doing so, she feared, would bring her world crashing down. It would expose her for what she was behind that facade of a forward-thinking, open-minded, Ivy-League-league management consultant with a multi-million dollar home, a handsome husband and a 1049 form that would make many eyes pop. She was an utter failure behind that mask. A coward running away from the demons of her nature. And she did not want anyone to find out.

"I hate this life, I hate America, I hate Americans, I hate everything about this place" she broke down into tears three weeks after the first session and $5000 dollars and some spare change later. Everything around her seemed fake. The smiles on the faces of people who passed her in the hallways who could care less about how she really felt, the neighbors who waved at her as she backed her car out of the driveway, but had never invited her over ever, or whom she never got to build the kind of relationship she could with her neighbors back home - something seemed amiss in this place. The "friends" she had come to make over the years seemed more concerned about being seen at the right places, with the right clothes, sipping the right wines than about laughing and having a good time.

"I want to go back home" she felt a tremendous relief as she let those words out. It was something she could never bring herself to tell Jason. She grew up in a nuclear family in Nepal but missed the joint family environment of some of her cousins. She missed the love and warmth of her grandparents who had passed away when she was away from home and neither of whose funerals she could attend because of that challenging project she was working on. There was a part of her that would wake up some mornings and still think they were alive. If anyone else I love passes away, I will attend their funerals from now on, she promised herself. I will always say my final goodbye she would weep to herself at times.

Her grandparents had visited a year before her grandmother died. She had bitter sweet memories of the incident. She loved the moments she got to spend with them but felt a pang of guilt about how they must have felt. She could not take them to the finest restaurants in town because they would feel out of place there. Her grandfather spoke English, but with a slight accent, and her grand mother could manage only the bare minimum words needed to get one past custom and immigrations. She could not showcase her grandparents, the pride of her life, amongst her new circle. She could not bare to see the looks of polite disdain that might appear on the faces of some people when they saw the shy and wrinkled faces of two foreigners. So what if his title once read " His Excellency, the Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of the Kingdom of Nepal to ...." The list would have been quite long of she had to go through it all.

There were things she had come to learn about how San Francisco's famed egalitarian and progressive society viewed others that would make her clench her teeth. Her grandfather, ever the adventurer, wanted to drive her SUV, and even got an international drivers license from nepal when he came to visit. When he brought it up with her, the phrase "DWI - Driving While Asian" was what she immediately thought of. A term used to refer to the driving skills old chinese ladies and men. Fear, and not the lack os skills, was responsible for such driving she wanted to yell whenever she heard that phrase because in some ways it reminded her of her own grandparents. She had brought up the issue with Jason but he gave his characteristic shrug by which he meant "Ya, fine" but by which she understood "I can help you integrate into my society but your whole family is not my problem".

Her grandfather never got to drive in America.

The sessions continued.

"If you could go back and change what you did, what are some of the things you would change" Dr Talwar scribbled something on her notepad as she asked the question.

***

San Francisco Superior Court, San Francisco
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Citing an irretrievable breakdown of marriage and stipulating that the terms of the settlement be carried out within 180 days, the court spent less than 15 minutes granting the divorce. Reena then took her dad to have his favorite cup of capuchino at the local Peet's Coffee while her mom complained about how bitter the "American" coffee was.

Reena felt a burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Only the presence of her parents stopped her from throwing her shoes into the sky and jumping. It had been one hell of a struggle convincing them that she was doing the right thing and even though they agreed to go along, she still sensed an unease in them that disturbed her. In fact it angered her. Why were they not taking part in celebrating her new found freedom, her second chance in life? Why did they have to look at divorce as doom?

But she was too happy to let her parent's thoughts dampen her spirits. She added an extra sachet of brown sugar to her coffee, stirred it and nibbled on her chocolate biscotti and she looked out at the majestic San Francisco Bay and smiled.

"Do you have a minute? " she typed into her phone and hit the "Send" menu playfully.

" Ke chha? " came the reply in a few seconds "For you I have a life time :D"
 
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Posted on 03-25-07 4:13 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Goes without saying, it is a concise and clever piece of writing.
:)

So ladies!
I mean Sndy /Cerine!
what did you like most about the story?
Let's hear from you folks too. After all, who can empathasize better with a woman's emotions than a woman? Right?

I am waiting!

;P
 
Posted on 03-25-07 4:13 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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I have never come across such characters in real life. Hope you are honest with us in this story. I love d the story. Few of your lines were much intriguing..

>>He hadn't really changed, yet he was so different.
<
>>She was an utter failure behind that mask. A coward running away from the demons of her nature. And she did not want anyone to find out.
<
>> Why were they not taking part in celebrating her new found freedom, her second chance in life?
<< She knows the answer; doesn't she? But she wants answer just to rationalize her exultation.

>>There was a part of her that would wake up some mornings and still think they were alive.
<< You remind me of some of those ill fated mornings, you wake up and cry.

>> " Ke chha? " came the reply in a few seconds "For you I have a life time :D"
<< One can go to Ivy-league school, work on richly diversified worldwide organization, but no one know you better than the one who lived the closest life to yours.

Can we read you at least once a month? Is it too much to ask for?

---------------------------------------
I read Eileen as Reena in Talwar's office.
Forms , Ivy league schools... Gazer, I guess everyone knows what you mean to say.

SunnyDev
 
Posted on 03-25-07 4:14 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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empathize* ( i knew it)
 
Posted on 03-25-07 4:30 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Mr. Hyde,
U don't have to be a man or a woman to empathize with another person..I haven't been in that situation, so I cannot really say anything..besides, who am I to pass a judgement on other person's situations??
I love happy endings..and a good story..I hope it answers your question :)
 
Posted on 03-25-07 4:33 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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(Now where is Cerine?)

Sndy-ji!

Anyway, what did you like about the story?
;P
 
Posted on 03-25-07 4:39 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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:)
I am speechless!!
Thats what the story left me with: The silence, wordless to appreciate!!
Nice one with perfect blends of words!!
Want to see some more of ur works!! :)
Keep writing!!:)
P.S.- Is it to be continued??
 
Posted on 03-25-07 4:49 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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A wonderful read. I admire and envy your choice of words and your writing skills! I did not get the last lines though. Did she like someone else?
 
Posted on 03-25-07 5:14 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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what's great about the story?
it has a touch of reality and a dash of other things to spice it up re kya:-D
 
Posted on 03-25-07 5:31 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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wat's great about the story??

> name of one of the characters Dr. Talwar
 
Posted on 03-25-07 5:38 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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At least the name is not Dr. Killu; I am so glad. :). May be the Dr. Talwar is of a Kshatriya heritage.

I think Part 2 should be in the weaving since the very first word of the story begins with
Part 1.

I feel like I am the accidental co-ordinator to this wonderful story. Gotta take off now.
 
Posted on 03-25-07 6:20 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Liked your story! Lovely third person narration. Sometimes.....a person from another country could as well be from another planet, right?

Could you have included episodes on why Reena feels so lonely in her marriage......we read about her feeling lonely in America but does that necessarily translate into her feeling out of place in her marriage??....so maybe if you included one or two instances of that may be the story would be more complete......but then thats just what i think.

Beautiful writing......please keep them coming!
 
Posted on 03-25-07 7:34 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Wel Come back SAJHA GAZER!!! been reall long you disappeared from sajha. Great to see u here again. Have not gone through story yet but wil do tomorrow afternoon but m sure its great.

One more fan of your writing
-Amazing- (for only namesake)
 
Posted on 03-25-07 7:44 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thoroughly enjoyed..*DING* Do i know Reena?? story is so familier..so does the places ..well..another common story of khairay- nepali wedding..Sajha Gazer put them in beautiful phrases..Thanks Sajha Gazer .
so "kay cha" indicate that she finally found "NEPALI". I am sure every reader smiled in the end, so did i :-)
 
Posted on 03-25-07 9:43 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thank you all for reading and putting up with my errors, typos and fat-fingering. I shall make a solemn effort to proof read things a couple of times before I post again.

Flip Flop: Thanks. That was a mistake I made and you are right in figuring out it was Reema. I am contemplating publishing this in the blog section and will make note of this error if and when I do re-post.

Old Maven : Thanks. Glad you liked it.

Thapap: Thank you for reading and pointing out my mistake. I fat-fingered that one. It should have been Form 1040.

Ashu: Thanks for your comments. I have a deep lurching suspicion that you might be one of those "super-achievers" too :) More power to you if you are.

Lootekukur: Bhow, bhow , bhow from me too :) Thanks for your encouraging remarks. That's motivation enough to write the second part :)


Cerine, Juggy:: Thanks :) One or two more parts are probably needed to complete the story that has been brewing in my mind.

SNDY: Thank you for dropping by :)

Mr. Hyde: Thanks for your remarks. Glad you liked that bit :)


Sunnydev: Thanks for your comments. When you say "Hope you are honest with us in this story", I must clarify that this is a work of fiction. Like some of the other stories I wrote on Sajha, the characters and events may be drawn in part from real life , but all in all and overall , this is intended to be fiction and is not the story of any one person living or dead. Any of what I write should not be taken as my story or the story of any one person I know.

Rythm: Very nice of you to say that :) All I can say is interpret it anyway you like. Maybe if I can get part two out, it will clear any doubts.

Cerine: You are right, there is nothing extraordinary about this story. Especially in terms of the plot. I am not good with plots. This is just another person's pursuit of happiness and meaning in life. At least that is what I was thinking when I started putting it together.

Disco Dancer, Mr. Hyde : Talwar is a Punjabi name. I had a similar reaction too the first time I heard it :) When you write on Sajha, I guess you got to make sure you pick names that do not belong to people you know and I know a few Dr Singhs and Dr Patels, hence this name. There was a girl in college with that last name if you really want to know where I got it from :)

Nepalonmymind: Thanks for the feedback. That very thought crossed my mind too. When I built the framework of the story and came up with the six or seven segments, I realized I had to focus on one because of the nature of Sajha. The way I see it, this forum is a bulletin board where anything beyond light fiction might not draw much attention. There was a debate going on in my mind on whether I should focus on the marriage before it broke down or after. I chose the latter (a) to be as concise as I could be under the circumstances and (b) because it potentially provides a bridge to a second part which I think is needed to complete the story forming in my mind. But thanks for the honest feedback, I knew that was an area I was neglecting at some risk.

Amazing: Thanks, please don't hesitate to jot down what you think after you read it. As hard as I tried, it did get to be a bit long. I would hope justifiably so but that is for you and the rest of the folks to judge :)

Tamang Lady: Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your comments :)
 
Posted on 03-26-07 12:14 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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sajha_gazer,
thank you thank you (O: 1040 huh (O: LOL (O:
feed us with your part II pls (O:
 
Posted on 03-26-07 8:32 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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wat a surpise while gazing here today?;o) hehe

i guess everyone is kinda sayn been a while?sure has hoina?but gazer bro..nice to see u back and with such stuffs :oD...i had actually thot that was the end..and the beginning of smthin new and hopefully nice?hehe(seriously why do some of us esp the society sidha takes a divorce as an end?and not a better new beginning?:oS hehe)...but well seems theres some more parts comin out..so thats even a better new?hehe..

anyways lookin foward to more..and i think i heard this smwhere..simplicity is truly extraordinary...and great to see u got a bit tired of 'gazing' and typed some ;o) hehe..

good day!:oD
 
Posted on 03-27-07 8:35 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sorry for making it confusing. I didn't mean the honesty of news reporter but the honesty of a fiction writer. Characters and your plot are fictional but I expect writers to be honest with the social psyche.

I only expected you to rationalize the characters.
And I believe you did.

few lines were missing there in my previous post. I don't know why.
>>He hadn't really changed, yet he was so different.
<< perception changes..
>>She was an utter failure behind that mask. A coward running away from the demons of her nature. And she did not want anyone to find out.
<
Hope to read the another part soon.
 
Posted on 03-27-07 8:37 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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oh, rat!
>>She was an utter failure behind that mask. A coward running away from the demons of her nature. And she did not want anyone to find out.
--- If they found out, they will have to change their definition of success.
 
Posted on 03-27-07 11:47 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Dananah,

Ha ha, thank you :)

Sunnydev,

Got you. Thanks. My bad. Being a novice in the area I did not conceptually grasp what you might have been refering to. If I understood your clarification correctly, then I guess I did try and be as honest as I could in characterizing the psyche / mental settings. The characters and events, for the most part, were all made up to give credence to that mental setting.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to clarify. You feedback has been fun to go through.

A cleaned-up version of the story is also available at : - http://www.sajha.com/guild/read.cfm?guildid=396

Thanks again to everyone for reading a special thanks to those leaving feedback and comments.
 
Posted on 03-27-07 1:32 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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great piece....enjoyed it all the way !
 



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