Every day as I leave for office and reach the first bend near restaurant I come across a tall slim girl coming from other side. By 10 I have to reach office and around 9:30 we encounter frequently. Sometimes if I see her coming earlier than usual time I become afraid whether I am late or she is quick. You know, in the beginning I did not care much about her as hundreds of people pass through the same path every day.
But ours relationship was something different and strange, at least I think so. Everyday as we encounter we give a quick glance but could not dare to look even for a moment so we change our direction. When I see her coming from far I change my side and come to right side if she is in left. Often I try to avoid her but sometime it is not possible to do so and we become so close that we could not just collide. I could clearly smell her perfume. Her silky pink sari has touched my shoulder quite a few times. Her sketch is clear in my mind. She is slim girl having fair complexion with long coloured brown hair. Oval face with sharp nose. Often she puts on saris and occasionally casual outfits like jeans and T-shirts. She looks gorgeous on pink sari, which she rarely wears. But on jeans she looks pretty younger. She never changes her black leather bag. It's more than a year I have seen her carrying the same old bag. She must be a working girl, I guessed. Quite often I wonder why I am thinking so much about someone who is totally strange to me. Then I laughed on myself. But truly speaking, I was not interested on her. Not yet.
It has been my routine to go office and back home, meeting the same girl on the way. One day at the meeting point near the same restaurant, the bunch of girls was coming giggling and chuckling. I could not believe that such serious and innocent girl can be so bully and active among friends. Some of her friends were pointing at me; maybe they were talking something about me.
It has been more than a year I have joined this office walking same road and meeting the same girl every day. I really don't know what is happening nowadays, I feel romantic to think about her. One day, I was late while returning from office, as there was work to be finished the same day. That lousy evening as I was returning I was pleasantly bowled over to see her coming from other side. Yes, she saw and felt as if someone very closed to her had met her. But as usual there was no exchange of words except glancing each other. That was the first time I have met her except the usual time. I never wanted to know and inquire much about her nor did she. That's why our relationship (?) remains strange. I really don't know what she thinks regarding me. Had I been seriously interested on her I would have followed her & taken some steps a head irrespective of the consequences and outcomes. But at the same time, one can express thousand words even without speaking a single word. So, have we expressed? I don't know.
The other day, I was at restaurant at Durbar Marg having coffee. You know, I was delighted suddenly to see her in another corner with her female friend. She was putting black jeans and red t-shirt, looking terrific. . For the first time; I yearned to talk to her and have a conversation but I did not dare. Till then she had not noticed me, as she got up from table she noticed me and was awfully surprised, and perplexed to see me, her face was expressing that. She could not say even a single word nor did I. Again, she took seat and ordered ice cream and got engaged talking to her friend. Perhaps she was waiting me to commence a dialogue but I was not that much confidant. I gave try but could not. "Tomorrow, definitely I would talk to her" I made a promise and made a way. She might have been felt ignored.
After that day, I don't know why her things impressed me. Really, I was interested on her, still I am stranger for her but I have had a special feeling for her. It was untold and unexpressed relationship between two of us. Maybe it is called "love". That night I could not sleep and regretted why I could not I speak to her. I could have said "hi!" I saw her in dream. Two of us holding each other's hand and promising to live together for years and years. We were laughing why we both stupid could not speak for a whole year and said how suffocated we were to break the ice. I was holding her tightly on my arm and she was kissing me madly.
That morning, I was very much eager to meet her and was already prepared what to say. I went quite earlier so that I could meet her in time. She came exactly at 9:20 wearing same pink sari, old bag and walking quick strides. But she was with her old friend. I gave up the idea to speak out for that day. That whole day I was disturbed and felt scratchy and prickly. I could not concentrate on work. I came home earlier; her picture was rolling on my head. I took a cigarette and started sketching her beautiful face on a chart paper with pencil. I was determined that I would purpose her next day. "Flowers are the best way to express your emotions and feelings", I remembered this quotation and got a red rose to present her.
That night was the longest night for me; I got up at five in the morning. I practised in front of mirror time and again. Then it was time to move, I carried a red rose and went near our meeting point. That place seemed something special on that day. I waited and waited but she did not come; it was already more than an hour. Few meters far from the place I saw people gathering. I moved towards there and saw an accident. Pushing and shoving crowd; I entered there and found a girl hit and killed by taxi. My flower fell from my trembling hand.
She was dead.
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