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 Let's Laugh... namaskar this is Air India!
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Posted on 03-01-08 12:09 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Namashkaar.. . Air India mein sabko swaagath hai.
 
 
Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain welcoming both seated and standing passengers on board Air India.
 
We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off, it was due to bad weather and partly due to the search for a missing tyre.
 
This is flight 981 to Thiruvananthapuram. Landing there is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India. And, if luck is in your favor, we may even be landing on your village!
 
I request every body to relax and enjoy the journey. this aircraft is privileged to have made the least number of accidents in it's total flying period. That is, only 72 minor accidents in 62 years.
 
Air India has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure; I announce! that, starting this year, over 30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.
 
Food will be served onboard if we take off. For your convenience, air sickness bags will be supplied right after food so that you can avoid vomitting on the floor.
 
If our
engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off. To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve Complimentary DHARU and vada paavw. For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God!
 
We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. However, for our movie buffs, we will be flying right next to Emirates Airlines, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window.
 
There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warnin! g system on the engines telling us to slow down!
 
In order to catch a look at important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible. For the best view , if however, we go a little too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the
landmark!
 
Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you who can't find a seat-belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardess who will explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
 
Once again, thank you for flying by Air India


 
Posted on 03-01-08 12:26 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 03-01-08 5:00 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Oh, I had the privelege of flying Air India not too long ago. Food was OK (Indian traditional, of course). It was a NY-London-Delhi-Amritsar flight. Plane filled with Sirdarjees and their wives, mothers, etc. Noisy (people talk), felt like I was in a train station. Actually, I prefer the Air India crews in their sarees than the Jet Airways blues/yellows. Better curves in sarees.

BTW, only if Paan was in the menu....

Ah, here's one more for Air India;

Santa was booked into an Air India flight to Mumbai. But as this was his first time in an aeroplane, he made a few preparations that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, Santa declared loudly, "I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don`t charge me for food and drinks!"
So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, Santa began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher and was curious about the food.
"Excuse me, what is that drink?" he asked.
Santa picked up his lassi and said, "Milk of India!"
Then Santa took out several pieces of chappatis and started feasting.
"And what is that?" asked the curious American.
"Wheat of India!" replied Santa proudly.
Finally, Santa took out some desserts. He offered some to the American.
"What is it?" asked the American.
"Sweets of India!" replied Santa.
After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud `Pooooooooot!` sound from Santa.
"What was that?" asked the American, holding his nose in disgust.
Santa replied coolly, "That`s Air India."

 

_x


 
Posted on 03-01-08 5:32 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hey why you making fun of India? you think this is funny....

 


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