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Posted on 04-20-09 8:40 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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The Frog and the Engineer

An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week, and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now, that's cool!"

 
Posted on 04-20-09 8:46 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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The Measure of the Glass

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

 
Posted on 04-20-09 8:51 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

  9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

  8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

  7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

  6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

  5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

  4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

  3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

  2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.
  1. " ...... AMEN!"



 
Posted on 04-20-09 8:54 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Top 10 Ways to Tell that You're a New Dad

10) Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege.

9) The sentence, "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" sounds normal.

8) You are used to doing everything one-handed.

7) The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant one.

6) The list of bodily fluids that disgust you has shortened, possibly to zero.

5) Your idea of romance is handholding.

4) You answer the question "How are you?" with "We're fine."

3) You decide whether a shirt is wearable not based on sweatiness, but based on how well the spit-up stains match the shirt's main color.

2) You see a slender teenage girl walking down your street, and you think, "Hey, I wonder if I could interest her in...babysitting?"

And the #1 way to tell that you're a new dad:
1) It takes you two months to write and send out a simple Top-10-style joke email.


 


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