Guys,

In Guantanamo prison, isolating Muslim prisoners from each other is a form of way to weaken prisoners.

You know how alive we feel when we are physically in Nepal/Kathmandu and we experience the smells and tastes of Nepal right? So that means that when we are with our family, friends and all that we are familiar with from our childhood--the cultural norms, the role we are supposed to play in society in Nepal, we feel alive as people. We feel like we are living out the purpose that we were born for. Society and our childhood in Nepal has programmed to think and be in a certain way. And when we can act out and be in that way, we feel like we are connecting to our essence. We feel complete. We feel strong, comfortable and confident.

If all the above is true, then does that mean that when we are the opposite--in a foreign country, away from friend's and family, away from the places that were our childhood memory...year after year after year...that we become weaker and more influenceable?

Think about it, even in American football, they have what they call 'home game advantage':
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Home_advantage
In team sports, the term home advantage (also called home field/court/diamond/ice advantage) describes the advantage–usually a psychological advantage–that the home team is said to have over the visiting team as a result of playing in familiar facilities and in front of supportive fans.

So if all the above is true, then that means that the more isolated we get in the United States, the weaker we would become in many ways, no? This is a form of solitary confinement where we cannot associate with the things that we are familiar with:

I was reading about Solitary confinement:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solitary_confinement#cite_note-8

And a term called segregation psychosis:
http://www.karenfranklin.com/topix11-segregation.html

 

not sure about how isolation works with prisoner's mind set and i cannot speak of how others might have felt but as far as my experience goes i can say that i have been psychologically stronger after i came to america. I came a university  where there were no nepalese, indians etc. Yes i agree that i had a hard time at the beginning to adjust and what not but eventually it made me a stronger person, coming from a culture/home where i was encapsulated in my own comfort zone, where i could get what i wanted at the snap of my finger I did have to do a whole lot of adjustment and go through shocking revelation of how hard life really is but that i believe contributed to my strength.

PS. i dont think that home field advantage has an advantage anymore, eg. look at the playoff games where non home teams have been kickin some butt. I think the team that can kick ass on the road are generally more favored to win it all. whatever happened to Patriots and Falcons who were said to be invincible at home. :)
go packers!

Chaurey,

I think there are different stages that we go through.

1. We first leave Nepal. We realize the opportunities in the States, the freedom, the lack of judgement, the openness. We are excited.
2. We are in unfamiliar territory, new sights, signs, cultural norms, etc--we are scared.
3. As we adapt and achieve in the United States we feel confident
4. We realize that things in Nepal could be better--we feel angry
5. We miss home, we feel remorseful
6. We take advantage of opportunities in the United States and we feel more secure.
7. But year after year we become more and more seperated from the things we are familiar with in Nepal....there is a hollow scream in your heart that you cannot satisfy with anything other than hanging out with other Nepalese or going back to Nepal.
 

I don't disagree to your point. Yes we grew up in that culture and there will always be a place in  your heart for it and yes i too feel in a way that i have been disconnected from the culture, values norms etc that i grew up in.  There is no way that we will be able to replicate the same situation here with what we have but we can at least try and give it our best effort to not let go of it and to pass on the best of what we have to offer  to the next generation. 

given the circumstances we are in, in my opinion a lot of people would not have hesitated to go back to Nepal only if things were more stable politically and socially. But such is life, you suck it up and move, especially if you have a kid you would want them to have the best of the worlds and that in my "biased" opinion is only possible if you live in a stable society.

 

it sure does drain a person especially abroad where one doesnt not have the safety net of the family and where one has to constantly make decisions on his own.

you can some of these frustration and suffocation in another thread "returning to nepal" clearly. if we had family here and lived together with no status problem, suddenly life would be better here than nepal.

Yes, it can make you psychology weaker, but not for all the cases.

As Chaurey said, being isolated or being free can also make you confident about yourself and you can also realize your own potential. Most of the guys, who were born and raised with in Kathmandu valley always raised within their comfort zone. They always have their parents for advice, lodging, fooding and also for monetary cases. Once you come to states you lose your entire comfort zone, and had to realize that now you are the only one who has to decide for your future. 

I don’t try to be sexist, but I believe specially girls will have hard time over here in US if they don’t have any immediate cousins over here for advice.  May be this is the reason, they start to be in “live in relationship” (Most controversial statement, may be this is the reason, or may be the age or freedom they are getting when they are in US. I am thinking in this way as I have seen so shy and reserved girls are also in”live in relationship”, and I would have never imagine, they will even have boyfriend if they were in Nepal”)

I also think once you are here in US, Darwin’s “Survival Rules of Fittest” will start to apply. So most of the time, to survive here in this condition, you will become stronger mentally and psychologically.

For me I will say, I have become psychologically weaker on only one case, which I will try to describe by single line of Deep Shrestha song

डांडापारिको घामलाई हेर्छु, आमा र बाबा सम्झीरहन्छु................. डांडापारिको घामलाई हेर्छु, आमा र बाबा सम्झीरहन्छ..................

when i came to the states when i was 20, i though i could make through this life all by myself and would never need family support and the safety net. as i approach 30, my priotities and outlook of life have changed. the family void has started to grow within me eventhough i have a decent life here. the yearning of "afnopan" is taking a biger shape inside me.

I don't know if i have any answer to the questions of this thread but i think if one can focus to the bright side, see the light at the end of the tunnel (what they say over here) and not waste energy analyzing thngs that are not helpful especially while you are struggling, thats the important key to channel your energy in positive direction, and come out of the pot hole. Also don't think that its gonna be like this for ever about the situation you are in currently. It will be much better as time moves on. Take it from a guy who landed and got stuck  somewhere in midwest blue collar conservative place since last eight years,  who didn't wanted to be there at the first place.