During middle school, high school, and even college, my friends and I thought we were waaaaaay better than the options we had for boyfriend. We’d scoff at our suitors (not that there were many) and say, “I don’t want to date a boy, I want to date a man.” We patted ourselves on our backs for recognizing the difference and for thinking that we were far better suited for one category over another.

The definition of what constitutes as being a “man” has been edited multiple times from pre-teen years to early adulthood. (At one point it was snagging the guy with the good looks, then eventually we realized that intelligence is sexy, and while my best friend needs a serious romantic, I need a man who can make me laugh.)

As our requirements for our men changed, we began to see ‘men’ from different angles and I’ve come to the conclusion that for all the difficulties I face being a woman in Nepal (and the list of difficulties is exceptionally long) it’s not easy being a guy here either.

For instance, a man is supposed to be the breadwinner. I can’t imagine the strain and stress of knowing that I’m the one designated to bring home the daal-bhaat. Of course, I’m happy to work and I fully intend to contribute to household finances when I’m wed, but were I to opt to be a “housewife” society would be far more forgiving of me than a man choosing to be a househusband.

I was talking to a friend just the other day about how difficult it is to find a quality Nepali guy who is able to meet us on ever level.  Nepal is changed, whereas before only girls were scrutinized under several pairs of critical eyes before being approved for marriage, guys today are subject to the same speculation.

I guarantee you, most women, educated or not, modern or not, will not agree to spend her life with a househusband. But I have to ask, why not? If we, in our march for equality and women’s rights are fighting for the opportunity to work, to get paid the same, to be able to a hunter and gatherer – by the same means, shouldn’t it be okay for a man to stay at home?

That being said, there are cases of men who tend to the house and children while wives work all day – but in the cases I’ve seen, the men still feel the need to feel like they’re in command. They abuse their spouse and aren’t gracious about the half of the whole that they are responsible over. Why the issues with ego?

So, that being said, what’s my proposal? Women should be fine with being the bread winner, men should be fine with being the home maker and both should be equally okay with the role of their spouse. Because at the end of the day, both parts are equally important and it’s better to find a method that words best for the household, even if it’s not the norm.

Saani has no real goals and aspirations but she sees opportunity in everything and goes with the flow. This is probably because she loves exploring and discovering. She writes for fun but for the same reason she also cooks, reads, and spends a lot of time on random websites that offer a chance to learn all sorts of tid-bits on life.