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 figuring myself out
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Posted on 11-28-11 7:00 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Figuring myself out

I could see him stealing a glance at me from the corner of my eyes. I silently prayed for him to look away so that my heart would return to its ordinary state of rhythmic beats that I was used to. I don’t know why I felt so uncomfortable being looked at. Some of my friends claimed that attention from guys made them feel good about themselves while others took it as a reaffirmation of how highly they thought of themselves to begin with. In the not-so-wise words of one of my outspoken friends, “Attention just makes me remember how “hot” I am in the gloomiest of days and that instantly cheers me up.” I wanted to slap myself for being friends with her when she uttered that pure nonsense like it was pure gold. But a moment later, I remembered how she made me delicious soups and not so delicious jaulo every day when I was bed-ridden with flu last year.

So, I consoled myself by thinking that maybe I am a different story. Attention from anyone makes me conscious about myself, which then invites clumsiness to kick in with full force. In short, I am a nervous wreck.

Everything about my new job was amazing. I liked my role in the overall scheme of the project .I also liked my co-workers. The only thing I dreaded was running across that one particular individual, the attention-giver, in the hallways during lunch breaks. Neither did he say anything nor did he smile. He just stared until I would finally give that “why the hell are you staring at me” look. He would then look away. Ironically enough. the more I tried to escape him, the more conspicuous he seemed to be. Suddenly, I wasn’t running into him only during lunch breaks. Now, he was in the mailroom when I dropped by to buy stamps and he was also in the kitchen when I went in to grab a cup of water. He seemed omnipresent and I couldn’t ignore him anymore. He was somewhat like the Kardashians- they were everywhere and whether you loved them or hated them, you just couldn’t ignore them.

One night, I started to question myself if there was something wrong with me. Why was I so flustered by the attention of a man- a really attractive one at that. I should be flattered, not flustered. Why am I, a college graduate, acting like a seventh grader all over again? I couldn't come up with a viable conclusion of what my story exactly was at that point. Amidst the urge to call my aforementioned friend for some advice(?), I decided against it and laughed my guts off at George Carlin videos before I  called it a night.

to be continued….

Last edited: 28-Nov-11 07:06 PM
Last edited: 28-Nov-11 07:08 PM

 
Posted on 11-28-11 7:14 PM     [Snapshot: 1]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nice1 gal. Looking fwd to the second inning.

However,  I was confused by the "he/she" pronoun you relate to.
Furthermore, followings are couple of the categorized girls that observed till date and you know where you belong
  • sometimes girls get the attention they deserve but can't handle it.
  • sometimes girls get the handleable attention but don't want to confess/express in return aka  "attention seeker".
  • sometimes girls get the unwanted attention all because they are introvert/secretive/mysterious till they open their mouth.
  • ...

 
Posted on 11-28-11 7:26 PM     [Snapshot: 56]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Thanks for reading :)

I'm sorry but I don't understand what you meant by "he/she" pronoun in your comment. Could you direct me to specific lines/sentences so that I could look over them for revision? And I dunno what catefory I fit into. If I did, I would have titled this writing as " All Figured Out". LOL :)

 


 
Posted on 11-28-11 7:37 PM     [Snapshot: 68]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Couple of notes:
  • I assume you are a girl as your profile name suggests (chick).
  • Furthermore;  also assuming you are a straight girl, I take it as a guy when you mentioned him (obviously).
  • avoid editing the original content. Just let it be as original as it is when you first thought about it. BTW, you already edited twice.
  • Above were only my own observation/suggestion. Most of the other readers might not have been confused in the first hand. So you can totally if=gnore my comments.
  • Continue your writing
My observation about the associated pronouns marked by bold/underline:
I silently prayed for him to look away so that my heart would return to its ordinary state of rhythmic beats that I was used to. I don’t know why I felt so uncomfortable being looked at. Some of my friends claimed that attention from guys made them feel good about themselves while others took it as a reaffirmation of how highly they thought of themselves to begin with. In the not-so-wise words of one of my outspoken friends, “Attention just makes me remember how “hot” I am in the gloomiest of days and that instantly cheers me up.” I wanted to slap myself for being friends with her when she uttered that pure nonsense like it was pure gold. But a moment later, I remembered how she made me delicious soups and not so delicious jaulo every day when I was bed-ridden with flu last year.
Last edited: 28-Nov-11 07:37 PM

 


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