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 Do you dare to be a unique individual in Kathmandu?
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Posted on 12-30-11 10:11 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Living in Kathmandu, what is the worst case scenario that you could envision? 

I think my biggest fear is standing up apart from the crowd. I don't know if I have enough confidence to be able to stand alone, different from the crowd of friends and relatives that I belong to. I don't know if I have the strength or the power or the money to carve my own identity. Or maybe you don't need those things to define your individuality? 

We all have fears of going back to Nepal. Of being 'stuck' there. Of not having good economic options. For having to beg and plead with other people for jobs. 

I was thinking about that. Kathmandu. The worst thing that could happen is to not have status while living there. For people to denigrate you. For people to look down on you. 

People would call me crazy. There is not a lot of tolerancce for ambiguity there. You have to gravitate to one of few socially acceptable roles. If possible you have to garland yourself with all the different criterias of social acceptability you can grab. The more you can grab, the better shape you are considered to be.
I don't want to be another grabber and show-offer in Kathmandu. I know the kind of work I want to do there. 

You need a lot of courage to be a unique individual in Kathmandu. And it is one thing to be unique for others, but it is quite another thing to be unique to yourself--with humility. 

I also know that Kathmandu has changed. There is lots of room for individuality in a cosmopolitan place like Kathmandu. If you can survive it, tolerate the squalid city life and do what it takes, there is room for young creative professionals who can stomach the hierachy, politics and all that comes with it. At the end of the day it is about what you want and what you are willing to sacrifice to get it. 
 
It is about testing yourself on the battle ground of life. It is about discovering your own limitations. It is about what you can stomach.
 

That has been the way in America in my life here so far. I am sure that Nepal would be the same.   
Last edited: 30-Dec-11 10:19 PM

 
Posted on 12-30-11 11:03 PM     [Snapshot: 97]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 I know the question I am really asking. I do not fear physical survival. The question is more about psychological survival. I am not sure if I will psychologically survive anything less than my upper-middle class lifestyle that I was used to while growing up in Kathmandu. This is my real fear. 
 
If I meet a friend from grade school on the streets of Kathmandu, will I be ashamed if my clothes are not as good as his? Will I feel insecure if he looks down on me when he finds out my career or wealth does not match his? 
 
I fear criticism even here in sajha. What to speak of receiving hateful words from people that I had looked down on as a child. All this scares me. And I don't want to go to Kathmandu just to prove something to someone. Who? 

Who is worth proving to in Kathmandu? 
 
But I also know that untill I conquer these fears that I will not be able to be effective in Nepal. I have to rise above these fears. But I don't know where to get the strength to be able to rise above my fears. 
 
I know the answer. But I am afraid to embrace it. And I also know why I fear embracing it. It requires something from me. Something that takes a lot from me. And I am afraid of what it will ask and what I will have to give. I fear it's demands. It's relentlessness. It's quest. It's depth. It's life. It's purity. It's unashamedness. 
 
I know the answer. But I am shy to say it in public. 
 
The person I need to prove to is within me. I am afraid of truly knowing him. 

Why?

Because then I can't lie to him. And he can't lie to me. Scary. 





 
Last edited: 30-Dec-11 11:05 PM

 
Posted on 12-30-11 11:39 PM     [Snapshot: 122]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Well I dont know why you are trying to be so sophisticated. Status quo, status maintenance, high maintenance, competition with your neighbors, friends and all that blah blah... Why cant people live a simple life. If you feel like you cant sustain KTM, then get the hell out of there. You dont need to be unique or stand out of the crowd. Go to other parts of the country, open up a ranch, farm, factory, do something that you are good at, be an entrepreneur and help yourself and others if you can. Do not make it complicated. If you even ever hit the bottom, the things could only get better after that. Happy New Year.

 
Posted on 12-31-11 4:19 AM     [Snapshot: 250]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Posted on 12-31-11 4:32 AM     [Snapshot: 267]     Reply [Subscribe]
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To go or Not to go:

I went to Kathmandu twice this year after a long stay here in the US. Besides celebrating Dashin and meeting my loved ones, partly - my goal was to expolre the prospects of returning. I have been talking to few of my friends and relatives about the idea for a while. After spending more than a decade here studying and working, I am thinking may be its time to go back OR give-back to the place where I was born,raised, and belong.I was trying to gauze the job and entrepreneurship environment.

I also met a few of my friends who had gone back. One completed masters in the US and now teaches business at a private college outside Kathmandu. He is also involved in some social work. He told me that he choosed to come back because of the priority over his family rather than the life out in America. He is content with the decision. He lives in the house that his father built and rides a motorcycle. He said he is glad to be contributing to the society where he grew up.

Other friend based in Kathmandu told me the starting a business entity could be a nightmare however. He works for a private firm in Kathmandu and makes a decent pay compared to the local standard but of course, nowhere near what he was making. He also lives in his parent's house as well and also rides a bike to commute. He said the bureaucratic hurdles one can face could be challenging. Most of his blame was the troublesome nature of government entities/officials. He was baffled when bribe was asked to for simple tasks such as paying property taxes and electricity bills. If you are eying to work in a private sector job, you may need a some political/network backing. He is mostly satisfied with his decision and is hopeful that the decision he made will be rewarding in the long-term. He kinda anticipated the challenges. He had left a lucrative job and was nearing to get green card.At the time he said "If I don't go now, I probably never will". Thankfully his wife was on same page and they had no children. He is also glad to be fulfilling his parents desire that he come back.

As for decision to Go/No go is purely personal. My advice to you is that you need to have a pretty solid tolerance of local situation where you wish to operate; especially if you have been out from the country for some time. If you are waiting for this or that to change, to make a certain amount of money, want to have an American born kid, or even have a bucket list of pre-conditions, its likely that you will never make THAT decision.  You must be willing to step outside the box, i.e; your upper-middle class mindset. If you truly want to stand out for yourself. It is fairly possible to work even outside the valley to start a business, teaching youths, or coaching sports. Or, you may simply want to do some volunteer work just to acclimatize yourself for a while before you can finally figure out what to do. I have seen a few Japanese/Westerners doing it. And, you probably know US peace corps is returnig back to Nepal. After all, if they can do that why not we, For ourselves ?
 
Its easier said than done - But it will a bold decision that could turn out to be rewarding later. I was told by one Westerner that I met on my return flight that- she wishes she could stay in Nepal and work. She told me it was a beautiful country with so much resources and potential. I really felt it when she told me that  that young guys like myself that are educated and have experiences abroad must come back and help the country. Quite frankly she told me, "Your country needs guys like you more than US or Europe".
Its some thing to think about very seriously. Right now it may be a tough decision for one to make but 10-20 years from now, you will be glad you made it. After all if we won't then who will ??

 
Posted on 01-02-12 11:37 AM     [Snapshot: 615]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 GuyNepali said: 
After all if we won't go back to Nepal then who will ??




Well, some people in this thread were making the point of how much you can do for Nepal while living in America. The only way to serve Nepal is not necessarily by going back to Nepal. We live in a globalized economy. Khane mukh lai junga le chhekdaina. 
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?threadid=95011 

 


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