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 Harvard degree and a Lexus
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Posted on 07-19-04 8:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Published on Thursday, June 10, 2004
Ali G Offends, Entertains on a Hot Class Day

By SIMON W. VOZICK-LEVINSON
Crimson Staff Writer


CRIMSON/ LOWELL K. CHOW
Class Day speaker Sacha Baron Cohen, better known as Ali G, is escorted back to the podium after his speech to receive an honorary membership in the Class of 2004.

Graduating seniors eager to fulfill any remaining Core requirements by studying the liberal art of ýerbologyý received a tantalizing Class Day lesson in the field yesterday from British comic Ali G.
The profane social satirist donned tinted goggles, several bejeweled chains, a bright-red beanie and a sweatsuit to matchýwith the dubious academic title ýProfessor of Erbologyý emblazoned on its backýto turn up the heat on an already-sweltering crowd of graduating seniors and hundreds of friends and family in Tercentenary Theatre.

Frankly opining on topics including sex, drugs, race relations and higher education, interspersed with the occasional ýrespectý and ýbooyakasha,ý Ali G fulfilled the promise of First Class Marshal Shaka J.D. Bahadu ý04 to ýdrop some serious knowledge.ý His remarks ranged from the unprintable to the very unprintable, drawing laughter and more than a few raised eyebrows.

By speechýs end, the faux-urban hip-hopper was crying ýPolice brutality!ý as a Harvard University Police Department officer handcuffed him beside Memorial Church.

Before his mock detainment, Aliýwho, despite his sometimes dim-witted persona, is the Cambridge University-educated Sacha Baron Cohen off stageýwas eager to display his own depth of knowledge.

ýFings like ýappleý and ýorangeý donýt start with a capital letter unless they start a sentence,ý he informed the audience of hundreds.

But the comedian, who has centered popular television series in America and Britain around inappropriate interviews with unsuspecting subjects, was quick to praise the Ivy Leaguers before him.

ýYou is the most cleverest students in America,ý he said, noting later that he considers this country to be among the greatest in the world, behind Jamaica and Thailand.

Waving his hands in mock-gangsta motions, the comedian enthusiastically lauded the wide variety of academic specialties at Harvardýfrom students who are ýgood at counting,ý to historians who can tell ýwhat did Lincoln give America, except for the towncar,ý to English concentrators who have ýmemorized the entire alphabet from A to X.ý

Ali was particularly interested in students of the law, whose help he solicited in avoiding drug possession charges after claiming to have smuggled several ounces of ýthe finest Moroccan chronicý overseas in his gastrointestinal system. He also hoped medical students would help cure him of the ailments thereby caused.

And though, unlike recent Class Day speakers like Al Franken ý73 and Conan C. OýBrien ý85, Ali could not draw on his own memories of golden undergraduate years on the Charles, he demonstrated a remarkable knowledge of Harvardýs rich history.

In addition to the ease with which he dropped impolite slang, Ali showed that he was as comfortable dropping the names of famous Harvard graduatesýincluding such luminaries as ýLyndon Baines Johnson, or as he is known, JFK,ý ýPresident George Clintoný and ýthat really fit honey from Star Wars.ý

Of the three mangled names, only the lastýperhaps better known as Natalie Portman ý03ýactually attended Harvard.

Ali made the actress a special focus of his attention, suggesting at one point that he might be found later on in a hotel room encouraging her to ýplay with [his] light saber.ý

Towards the end of the speech, he turned to the topic of race relations. Baron Cohen, who is white, has caught flak for drawing heavily upon racial stereotypes in the past.

ýSome of you has probably never even seen a black man before,ý he said. ýAllo.ý

ýLike the great civil rights leader Martin Luther Vandross, I has got a dream of little black girls and little white girls playing with each other,ý he added.

Ali also mimed a sexual act in the course of a discussion of the relative merits of a Harvard degree and a Lexus, which he said were of similar economic value.

ýBet youýre well glad you brought your grandparents, innit?ý he asked with a grin at one point.

And despite frequent references to Harvard, Ali ended his speech on a discordant note.

ýBig up yaself, Princeton!ý he shouted in his speechýs extended conclusion.

Continue..........................
 
Posted on 07-19-04 8:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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THE REST OF THE MOST CLEVEREST

Though Ali Gýs brazen commentary formed the afternoonýs centerpiece, he was preceded and followed by an array of student, faculty and alum speakers.

Dean of the College Benedict H. Gross ý71 previewed todayýs Commencement proceedings and thanked everyone for coming out to see him.

ýI am especially grateful to Ali G,ý he kidded. ýThis man flew across the Atlantic Ocean just to hear what I had to say. Thank you, Mr. G!ý

Bahadu, meanwhile, told ýthe extremely good-looking Class of 2004ý of his own take on race at Harvard.

Bahadu said that in the last four years, he has been mistaken on campus for black celebrities including Will Smith, Denzel Washington and Justin Timberlake, who is caucasian.

ýThe dudeýs got some soul, so heýs going to be an honorary brother,ý Bahadu said.

The marshal went on to promise that Princeýs Purple Rain would be played at all subsequent 2004 reunions.

The ceremony also included the awarding of two Ames awards. The leadership award was given to Christine D. Tran ý04 and George Lee ý04.

Other speeches included two Harvard Orationsýone by Nicholas R. Smith ý04, on the subject of truth, and one by Jennifer N. Hawkins ý04 titled ýOn Being a Harvard Class.ý

Two lighthearted Ivy Orations did their best to warm the audience up for Ali Gýs tone.

Leila A. Strachan ý04 spoke of the future, while Colin K. Jost ý04ýthe former president of the Harvard Lampoon, a semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization which used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazineýdelivered an often-inaccurate disquisition on the history of Class Day, inexplicably deeming himself ýarguably more powerful than Larry Summers, physically.ý

Jost, whose appearance was heralded by a boom-boxed rendition of Cyndi Lauperýs ýGirls Just Wanna Have Fun,ý concluded his ramble with a profound, and profoundly funny, observation.

ýAnyway, I guess my point is, weýre immortal,ý Jost pronounced.

ýStaff writer Simon W. Vozick-Levinson can be reached at vozick@fas.harvard.edu.


 
Posted on 07-19-04 8:24 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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