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 Smarty...
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Posted on 12-07-04 4:43 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gun shot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."

Pheri Vaytaula....

 
Posted on 12-07-04 5:10 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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ha ha nice one ....I thought about the third one...he he
 
Posted on 12-07-04 5:14 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey Sense and Sensibility...!!!

Here you go, another one.... Enjoy...

"IF MEN GOT PREGNANT"

1. Morning sickness would rank as the nations number one health problem.
2. Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay.

3. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.

4. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

5. All methods of birth control would become 100% effective.

6. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

7. There would be a cure for stretch marks.

8. They would serve beer instead of coffee at antenatal classes.

9. Men wouldn't think twins were so cute.

10. Sons would have to come home from dates by 9 pm.

Pheri Vaytaula...

 
Posted on 12-07-04 5:54 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hahahahah......VR .....good one, one of those but-i-like-your-thinking jokes, eh !! heard another version somewhere !!

here i go..........

At a church, a priest asked little Johnny,

"Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?"

"Sure," little Johnny replied. "They go out in back of the church yard."

********************
( RATED----R )

So this teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she's telling them that the word of the day is 'contagious.' She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands.

"Carl," she says. Carl says, "My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, 'cause they're contagious." "Very good," says the teacher.

Then she picks Suzie, who says, "The atmosphere was contagious," and the teacher says, "Excellent, Suzie!"

Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class. "Yes, johnny?" she says.

Johnny says, "The other day, me and my dad's a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbour painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, "Jesus, it's gonna take that cunt ages to finish that fence."

************

 
Posted on 12-07-04 6:20 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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This JOKE is for you Relax_Singh (I enjoy your jokes, thanks for sharing...) for your relaxation and for you Sense for your Sense and Sensibility....!!! And also for all the readers....ENJOY....

MIRACLE PRODUCTS

Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products she asked, "Darling, honestly what age would you say I am?"
Looking over her carefully, Luke replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty-five."

"Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Luke interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."

Pheri Vaytaula....

 
Posted on 12-08-04 6:45 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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man, vr, you've got some great ones! thanks for adding some laughter to my day. i also read your "my god" post. hilarious!
but why is it always "little johnny"? why not little billy or little tommy or....little ramu or little shiva....
 


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