Little johny went up to his dad and asked the real meaning of politics.his dad knew he was dumb and asked him to go to bed, he insisted and finally his dad told him, this is what he said.. "he called himself the capitalist as he was the earning member of the house,called his mother as the governer as she looked after the house in his absence, called little johnny the public as he would see everything going on,called the servant as the labourer and johnys little brother as the future of the country. This together fuctions in a sysytem and is known as politics." Johny was confused and said that he did not follow, He went to bed dissapointed, he was restless and went up to his dad again in the middle of the night, he went to his dads room but he wasnt there, he checked in his brothers room, he wasnt there too but he saw that his brother had shit in his nappy so he went to the servant quarter to ask his maid to clean the mess. There he saw his dad having sex with the maid, he saw everything and went back to sleep. Next morning on the breakfast table he told his dad that he now understood the meaning of politics. His dad asked him the meaning of it, this is what little johny said "CAPAILIST SCREWING THE LABOURER WHILE THE GOVERNER IS ASLEEP,PUBLIC IS WATCHING WHERE AS THE FUTURE OF THE COUNTRY IS IN THE SHIT POT."

I think Bhattu and Stepfather will laugh this time around. crossing my fingers

Nepali Politician tries to console the widow of a Police Constable who has been killed by a maoist.
Politician; malai sarhai nai afsosh cha hajoor ko dukha ma.Bhagwaan ra NEWSWEEK le timro dukha hatne cha.
The widow looks at him perplexed:
An aide whispers to Politician: 'Sir, NEWSWEEK hoina Time ho'.'
Politician; Yaar ke kura gareko Time hos yo Newsweek eutai ta ho ni.

A Guide to Nepali Newspaper:

The Kathmandu Post: Read by the people who run the country.(Indian influence)
Dristi:Read by people who think they run the country.(cuz UMl thinks they are player behind the curtain)
Saptahik Bimarsha: Read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Kathmandu post. They do, however like the smog statistics shown in pie charts. (Kangressi Mukhpatra)
Jana Aastha:Read by people who don't care who's running the country , as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. (their news is always cheap, yellow journalism).
Gorkhapatra:Read by people whose parents used to run the country.
Nepali Times:Read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could spare the time
I forget the last one its some leaflets of maoist news: Read by people who think they should run the country.

I will laugh at your jokes, swaati.
hahahahaha

Being sarcastic, wink wink lol

Hey nice ones swaati. These were great one, except the first one, coz first one I have alredy read it before.

Great job swaati

A person walks into a curio shop in Thamel. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "Rs 200 for the rat, Rs. 1200 for the story," says the owner. The person gives the man Rs.200. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story." As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat, he notices that a few real rats have crawled out of the alleys and sewers and begun following him down the street. This is disconcerting, and he begins walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the herd of rats behind him has grown to hundreds, and they begin squealing. He begins to trot toward the Tukucha, looking around to see that the rats now number in the MILLIONS, and are squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of the tukucha, and throws the bronze rat as far out into the water as he can. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the Tukucha after it, and are all drowned. The man walks back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," says the owner, "you have come back for the story?" "No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a bronze (READERS CAN PUT WHATEVER NAMES THEY THINK FITS)

TV GUIDE of NEPAL TELEVISION
08:00 PM- NO WITNESS NEWS(NEPALI)
08:30 PM - GYANEDRASTUTI
09:00 PM - MAT- ABHIMAT KARYAKRAM IN BETWEEN COALITION GOVERMENT
09:30 PM - CHITRALAHAR( LOVE SEQUENCE IN BETWEEN COALITION GOVERMENT)
10:00 PM - KING, COALITION GOVERMENT, MAOIST AND FEBBLE AND TATTERED NEPAL AAMAA
10:00 PM - LOK DOHORI BETWEEN NEPAL GOVERMENT AND MAOIST
10:30 PM - BOWLING FOR PEACE
GAME OVER WITHOUT ANYONE EMERGING AS A WINNER
11:00 PM - WHEEL OF TERROR AND PEACE BEGINS
11:30 PM - PRACHANDA KO BOLI BANDUK KO GOLI
11.45 PM - JUDGE PRACHANDA AND K.G COMPETES FOR "JUST KILL ANYONE"
12:00 AM - LATE NITE SHOW OF BABURAM
HURRY UP ITS CURFEW PLS SWITCH OFF UR LITES AND GOTO BED NOW

A white man had a girlfriend who he loved very much. Thinking that he had not done anything significant for her lately, he decides to tattoo her name on his dick. So he goes to the tattoo parlor and tattoos ?Wendy? on his dick, which is his girlfriend?s name. But his dick got harder during tattoo and now he could only see W and Y when his dick was not fully erect. Nevertheless, satisfied with his effort he went home.
One day while showering in a public gym, he sees a big black dude with W and Y on his dick. Worried if Wendy is double timing him with this dude, he goes up and asks, ?Excuse me, I have W and Y on my penis, but when its fully erect you can read my gf?s name Wendy. I was wondering what yours mean?? The black dude replies, ?well, when I don?t have an erection you can only see W and Y, but when I have an erection you can read Welcome to Jamaica, Have a Nice Day!!!?

Monarchy; You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

Nepali Congress (GIRIJA);You have two cows. The government screws you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow.

Nepali Congress(DEUBA);You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

UML;You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

RPP; You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

SADBHAWANA; You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

MAOIST;You have two cows. The government seizes both but still keep on taxing u for cow.

Political Jokes ( Swati Thapa): you have two cows, and she keeps on telling jokes, some are nice, others..... hehehehe.. :p

And you realize cow started giving water. :)

american democracy- you have two cows. vote for one.

bush administration- you have two cows. on no, wait, we just bombed the f*ck out of them! sorry, you have no cows....

nice and genuine comment on swaati'sjokes.
......................................................
roses are red,
violets are blue,
my shoes are smelly,
just like your jokes

Roses are red,
there is some ants,
I wish swaati's jokes would drown in a waste treatment plants!
........................................................
sarai alchhi lagdo joke......... (READERS CAN PUT WHATEVER NAMES THEY THINK FITS)

nice ones swati, keep em coming. i would listen to these jokes anyday than discuss useless topics like "hip hop or rock" or "jhut bolnu ki satya"

he he he he Palpali Gaunle how abou this,

BUSH ADMINSTRATION: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

THX , Zalim singh.
BTW its seems , some sour grapes must be stapled n someones diet.

hehehe

i was laughing at uofsa's nice poem. it was nice and new unlike some jokes which are at least 3 years old and have been circulated enough through emails................yaaaaaawwwwnnn :/

George W. Bush and his veep running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when George W. said, "I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me."
Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Now Cheney, to patronize George W, took him outside and hailed a taxi driver.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," said Cheney.
The cab driver without saying a word drove them to Nickel Street, and when they finally got out, Cheney looked at George W. and said, "See! That guy was really stupid."
"No kidding," replied George W. "There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."

here's another one for the bush administration-

you have two cows. other people in the world don't even have one. but you don't give a sh*t. you're still spending 40 million dollars on a bunch of parties while you send your country's sons and dughters to die in a foreign country!

oops, sorry. that's "daughters" hai!