Every girl dreams of a guy since she is a small age. No matter what people say but in their sub conscious they are always drawing an image. The image of the prince charming which will one day come and sweep t hem off their feet. Isn't that a real fairy tale? Well when the heart is young and the mind is not properly developed it isn't a fairy tale. Its a dream that will have to come true, thats what an innocent heart always says. And thats what the mind wants to believe.
Well if thats how every mind functions then how can my mind be any different? Well before I was different, atleast thats what I thought. I was the gal my guy would always be looking for. He would come to me, submit to my wishes and I would love him like crazy, and the feeling would br mutual. And what would my parents be doing? Well they were out of the picture. Well my prince charming did come to me. Not once, not twice but thrice. Yes thrice... well all were princes to begin with but who can say what happened to them later?
My first prince.... my guy Nikhil... he had been in front of my eyes since I was 10 years old. He was my first crush but he could never be my prince. He was 13.. how could the guy possibly like me? So the time passed.. and I was 17... how did the 7 yrs. pass?? no one knows... I go online this one day and see that my brother was signed in.... "dada katti online basya..??" gosh brothers nowadays.. i was abt to sign him off and who do I see online..
Of course my prince will have to come in picture... there he was !!!!NIkhil in front of my very eyes.. So what do I do..?? I note down his mailing add and add him on my msn..and there starts the story of my prince... "hi Nikhil.. remember me?" and guess what he actually does.. after not being in contacts forever... So we talk and talk and discuss everything we know about each other.. and we still hadnt got enough of each other.
Slowly I start getting used to him. He was in the USA of course the land of opportunity and I am in Nepal. but I had to log in every time to check if he was there. In other words "I needed him to be there for me" and I wanted to be there for him. Thats what my heart wished.. the heart of an innocent girl.. thats how I was then. He was my dreams.. I could tok to him forever even if I had to wakw up early in the morning to go to class.
I had to go online in the afternoon even if my mom told me not to waste phone ko paisa. I had to e mail him and slowly I had to call him even if all my pocket money got over. And when I say i had to I mean it. I was always in a dream world but of course he was more practical. He wanted to wake me up but I wanted to sleep forever and ever. You cannot imagine my ecstasy when I found out that he had a crush on me ever since.. I was insane crazy..
My prince had come to me. He was caring, sensitive, understanding.. and what else did I need? The only difference was.. I was a dreamer and he was the most practical person ever. So I named the practicality pessimism. He was a pessimist. And something happened to my dream world.... it shattered.
One day my mom came to me.."Nanu, tero buwalai ra malai tan sanga kuraa garnu chha."
My parents were very independent people, always supporting me so what could have happened?" Tero baarey ma kehi sunya thiye"..
And out came eberything. Someone had cakked my parents all the way from the Western side and told them abt me and Nikhil. According to the sources Nikhil was a drunkard.. also into drugs.. I wanted to go to states for him.. He would drink to hell if I din go.. I had been chatting with him for century and a friend of mine had ignited the flame between us (my fren?? she din know anythin). My parents wanted to live in this society so I better stop it all.
I tried convincing my parents that he was a good guy.. I started chatting with him only months ago.. but did they believe me? NO. It was the word of the unknown family member against the word of a 17 yr. old kid who had never seen the world.. they took his word for it. I was not even told who the person was who had told my parents about all of this...
So what do I do??.. I tell Nikhil everything. I was ready to fight my parents but what he said amazed me.... "Your family found out? what if mine do too.. lets be frens for some time and maybe later we can continue what we left off..." How was I to know that he was thinking about me.. how was I to know that he din want my name to be thrown away by everyone.. How was I to know anything?
All I knew was that my prince had betrayed me. After that I stooped chatting with him, stopped calling him... stopped everything.. Was he Hurt..YES.. Did I have an idea.. NO!! I was thinking that he was over me.. how was I suppose to know that he would never be... how was I to know when all I could think with was with my heart... How was I to know when my dream, my fantasy my everythin was shattered.. ??...
(Too Long Sorry... more later..)
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