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 An Exclusive Interview With The King
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Posted on 02-21-05 12:03 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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By:
Sajha Post Reporter:
From A military bunker at the Narayanhiti.

Q: Good Evening, His Majesty.
A: It is still afternoon outside. Since we are in a bunker, you probably felt like it is already an evening.

Q: Well, may be, but it seems like it is always dark in Nepal these days, for the whole 24 hours.
A: Let's fault it for the global warming things. I am a conversationist, and I have directed my government to ratify Kyoto already.

Q: The World surely appreciates that, his majesty.
A: No mention.

Q: Let's dive in to the point. Sajha readers want to know "Just what the hell you were thinking on February 1st?"
A: It was a tough decision.

Q: Just that? Please elaborate.
A: Yes. I mean I love democracy. As you already know there are several types of democracies, but the kind of democracy which allowed me to get as much money as I wanted, as much abhinandan as I wanted, as much power as I wanted with lapdogs like Deuba at the helm was rare to find. It was hard for me. It was like shifting from Nike to Reebok: shoes in deed, but different brands. And it surely pinches.

Q:But Tulsi Giri, his majesty, for god's sake, you didn't find anyone here in Nepal?
A: I do find people around here. But all of them have their sirname either Shah or Rana. I have to show that I am not running family rule here.

Q: That's not correct. You can always steal the Congressis. Even Khadga Oli would have accepted your offer. There are also permanent wellwishers of royalties like Thapas, Kharels, Dixits, Gyawalis, Pandeys.
A: OK, Giri knows how to control Congressis, and he knows where to run away in case..

Q: OK, What happened on 1st June, 2001?
A: Palace Massacre.

Q: I mean, anything different than official version?
A: I ain't telling you nothing (with chuckle, and playful bantering).

Q: The widespread suspicion that you pulled the trigger, what about that?
A: That's rumor.

Q: Rumor?
A: Just that. Rumor. I am against gun ownership. I don't pull the trigger.

Q: About your personal life, are you a gay?
A: What?

Q: I mean, why is it that you are extremely good looking like an attractive gay suitor, you dress like a woman, and furthermore, you keep company of a masculine person like Sharad Chandra Shah?
A: No comment. Sharad is my steadfast supporter since time immemorial.

Q: Any actress you fancy?
A:Jean Harlow.

Q: Jean Harlow, for god's sake, we are in 21st century. She is a passe. Uma Thurman is way classy. Or Catherine Zeta jones.
A: I long for the time that has long passed by.I love the past with all its glory. I live in the past. I adore the past. They say the time started 15 billion years ago with the big bang. I believe they moved forward for enough, and it is high time, they move back to the big bang. I am contributing what I can.

Q: Thank you his majesty. Any message to sajha?
A: I won't censor you guys.But be aware of my people!:-)



Q:
 
Posted on 02-21-05 12:34 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Good interview but missing many important things.

Q: Why you always offer puja at the temples?
A: I do not see any differences between the blood of an animal and a man. I love massacre. I did massacre in June 2001. At that time I was so happy because I was able to massacre my own family. Can you imagine such a great doing? I am doing massacre of the Nepalese people now under emergency. Frankly speaking, I like blood, I want to see blood, I want to swim in blood. Human blood I like the most.
Q: So, you appreciate the massacre of your son Paras... I mean, musicians blood... disco blood?
A: Exactly. I appreaciate my dear son. I want him to massacre more Nepalese. So I imposed the emergency rule in the country, so that my son could rape and massacre many Nepalese. You see, I upgraded my dear son Paras to CP, during Deshain, the festival of massacre.
Q: What are your future aims...?
A: As I already mentioned, I like blood and massacre. I want to kill as many Nepalese as I can and fill the Kathmandu Valley by their blood. I want to swim then. It will be new record to make a lake by blood. After all, I am natural conservative man...not the human conservartive man.
... Continue.......
 
Posted on 02-21-05 6:44 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Q: Do you think Democracy is good? How do you define Democracy?

A: Democracy is like water, whichever vase you put in, it will take that shape. To me Panchayat had the highest democracy than any other system. Democracy means, people worship me as Lord Bishnu, because I take care of people who worship me. Look at Tulsi Giri and look at GPK. I made Tulsi Giri Vice Chairman of the King's Corporation of Nepal and look at GPK, he is rotting in jail. ha..ha.. ha. ha.. ha... (rawan like laugh)

A: Why did you do 1 lak khursani hom in Pathivara? I was told that you did the same at Nagarjuna?
B: I had to do cleanse my sins. As all of you know what happened in 2001. I just had to do the "hom" to cleanse my sins. I think I might do another khursani hom very soon.

A: Really what happened in 2001.
B: You know what happened, don't ask me. Tara Nath Bhat alreay told you how it happeneed , ha.. ha.. ha.. (cynical laugh)

A: Why did you make the move of 2004?
B: I had to, all my Gernerals and Rana and Shah families were pushing me to do it. Why only let these nimwits politicians elected by the people run the country and get into the national coffers. This country was built by Prithvi Narayan Shah, and the Ranas later, without them there would be no Nepal. We have owned this place for more than 200 years, we should be able to do what we want on our own property. If someone ones to live here, then they have to agree to whatever we say or else they might see the same fate by brother did... ha ... ha... ha... (another Rawan like laugh)


 
Posted on 02-21-05 7:17 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Humorous but true!
 
Posted on 02-21-05 1:25 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Waste of time.... .. if you are looking for time pass things... it could help you.. but by the end you might ask for Two Tydenol's tablets...
 


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