These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling)
collected by schools from all over the world:

1) My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E.
today. Please execute him.

2) Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick
and I had her shot.

3) Dear School: Please exscuse John being absent on
Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.

4) Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is
administrating.

5) Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6) John has been absent because he had two teeth taken
out of his face.

7) Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing
football.He was hurt in the growing part.

8) Megan could not come to school today because she has
been bothered by very close veins.

9) Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in
his side.

10) Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very
loose vowels.

11) Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He
had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.]

12) Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under
the doctor.

13) Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his
bust.

14) Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's
fault.

15) I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas
shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

16) Please excuse Jennifer for missing school
yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

17) Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We
have to attend her funeral.

18) My daughter was absent yesterday because she was
tired.She spent a weekend with the Marines.

19) Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He
had a cold and could not breed well.

20) Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She
was in bed with gramps.

21) Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had
a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,
fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and
ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must
be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

22) Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school
yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I
was in bed with the doctor.