• George W. Bush is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his speech to a group of businessmen, when a little man walks up to him.
'Excuse me, Mr President, but my name is John Smith, and I'm here with an extremely important client. We're going to see your speech tonight, and it would be a great help to me if, when we walk by, you could impress him by saying "Hello, John".'
Bush readily agrees, and 15 minutes later, the little man walks by, deep in conversation with his client.
The president bounds up to him and cries: 'Hi there, John.'
The little man says: 'Get lost Bush! I'm in a meeting.'



• Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush are about to be killed by a firing squad in a small Central American country.
Bill Clinton is the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given clinton yells out: 'Earthquake!'
The firing squad falls into a panic and Bill jumps over the wall and escapes in the confusion.
The soldiers reassemble and Al gore ponders what he has just witnessed as he is marched to the wall.
Before the order is given Al gore yells out: 'Tornado!'
Again the squad falls apart and Al slips over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, is placed against the wall. He thinks 'I see the pattern here - just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall.'
He confidently refuses the blindfold as the firing squad reassembles.
As the rifles are raised he grins from ear to ear and yells...'Fire

• An infant school teacher in a small town in Texas explains to her class that she is a George Bush fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Bush fans too. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is one exception. One little boy has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different.
'Because I'm not a Bush fan,' he retorts.
'Then,' asks the teacher, 'what are you?'
'I'm a proud Al Gore fan!' boasts the little boy.
The teacher is somewhat annoyed now. She asks him why he is a Gore fan.
'Well, my Dad and Mom are Gore fans, so I'm a Gore fan too,' he says.
The teacher is now angry. 'That's no reason,' she snaps. 'What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was an idiot. What would you be then?'
'Then I'd be a Bush fan,'


• George W. Bush is invited to a get-acquainted tour of the White House.
After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asks Bill Clinton if he can use his personal bathroom.
He is astonished to see that the President has a solid gold urinal. That afternoon, George tells his wife, Laura, about it.
'Just think,' he says, 'when I'm President, I'll get to have a gold urinal too.'
Later, when Laura has lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she tells her how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that the president has a gold urinal.
That evening, Bill and Hillary are getting ready for bed. Hillary turns to Bill and says: 'Well, I found out who ruined your saxophone.'