An active life time is just about 60 yrs. In one life time that we have, the best part is from 20 to lets say 40. Guess what most of us abroad do ? Spend a whole chunk of that time struggling here in US or elsewhere working kind of jobs that otherwise we will never do in our normal lives, by normal life I mean Nepal. By the time we get to anywhere..like getting a decent job, H1, Green Card etc...we r in no man's land...can't leave US (or elsewhere) coz we r so used to this lifestyle here, and always crave for having a life like being with family,friends and the soil of our motherland. No one will disagree with me that at that stage we all know we can never be the first class citizens here, never..ever...bcoz that's the stark reality. We can never have that sense of possession, that fragrance and aroma of our otherwise poor but beloved hometown, and Nepal. We by this time realize that we missed this very important phase of our one lifetime for ever where we could have known what it is like to be with our mother, father, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, local chiya pasal, pan pasal ( in my case since I am from Janakpur), ...

THAT "MY", "MINE", that feeling of MY COUNTRY, MY CITY, MY FAMILY, MY AREA, MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, is gone for ever.

I don't know why I think so today. But sometimes I ask, is it worth all this? afterall I only have one life. My mom who would never let me go away from her sight has not seen me for 3 yrs, my buddies, who I couldn't live without hanging out with them, haven't been in my life for ever, my house, my room, my bike...everything is lost...I can go back but for how long ? a month ? 2 months maximum ? then I again ask..Is it worth all this ?

AGAIN, I HAVE TO ADMIT QUITE HONESTLY. I CAN'T LEAVE AMERICA.THIS IS TRUTH IN MOST OF OUR LIVES.

CAN WE SHARE SOMETHING..THAT'S WHERE I BELIEVE, WE NEPALESE LIVING ABROAD SHOULD FORGET OUR CASTE, RELIGION, AND BACKGROUND, AND LIVE WITH LOVE AND PEACE COZ MOST OF US SHARE THE SAME STORY.ONLY A NEPALI CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT A NEPALI FEELS LIKE AND WHAT IT IS LIKE TO MISS NEPAL, MY HOME, MY COUNTRY.

if all nepali like you and me are here in US, what manpower does Nepal have to prosper? Sometimes I think only people left in Nepal are those who have no potential..Situation is only getting worse.. But then I also dont want to go back until Nepal is stable and I can be assured of good job. I am contradicting myself.