Is Married Life Only Adjustments
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Every time I saw a woman I used to wonder how much she has to adjust to survive and keep a marriage alive. I have many a time wondered is adjustment the synonym for marital life for a woman.
I have seen and remained awestruck looking at my mom. She quit her government job (those considered a great job opportunity) just because her in-laws didn’t want her to work. I wondered how she could ever do that, I have seen my aunt go for work because her hubby wanted her to work. She didn’t like working at all however she was forced to work. My mom loved to be independent however she had to quit her job.
I have seen my mom give up on many things either for the sake of her in laws, hubby or children. Every time I saw her adjusting so much I used to get a strong feeling that marriage is adjustments and this is applicable only for the woman. However my mom never ever cribbed about doing this or that, she did anything and everything happily and with complete involvement. She never once complained about having given up something that was dear to her. I don’t think she would have complained to my dad too.
After these many years and today when I am married and have kids I have realized that adjustments have to definitely happen in a marriage. However it is just not the woman who does it, the man also does it. These adjustments are understood as the fine tuning aspects of a successful marriage. I have given up on many occasions and so has my hubby. This attitude in us has helped the smooth sailing of our marriage.
Today when I look back I understand I saw only the woman’s role (though it was a major one when compared to mine today) and I had failed to see the role a man played. I had missed out to see if my dad had also adjusted. I am sure he would have else how will their marital life be this smooth sailing until date.
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