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Today's Chatpat: October 1st, 2023

1. Our doctors have withdrawn their strikes to protest the attacks against medical professionals across the country. The doctors have signed an agreement with our incompetent government. The six-point agreement between our medical professionals and those in power will pacify the doctors for now but expect such incidents to be a weekly occurrence across the country because patients' relatives blame them for anything wrong with the patients.

The agreement also paves way for formulation of laws which will now send you to jail for three years if you think doctors and medical professionals are soft target and are your sparring partners in the ring. It would also be better if our Home Ministry comes up with similar laws for all citizens where destruction of public property, vandalism by political cadres and physical assault by our police against the citizens or vice versa will also send you to mamaghar for three years. Then, we will not have any violence in our country.

2. Thank you, Nepal Oil Corporation (NOC) for hiking fuel and cooking gas prices! The corrupt and incompetent NOC has increased cooking gas prices by Rs 450 in a month and now, expect to pay Rs 2,110 for a cylinder. Our government has no intention of helping the common citizens. They would rather force us to go abroad for better opportunities so that most of us will pay the manpower agencies and then the manpower agencies will pay the labor department, the immigration and mundreys and hakims and politicians from their commission for human trafficking.

And then they will tell us that of course, you can afford any increases in fuel, cooking gas, rice, dal, masu because your loved ones is sending in all the remittance to the country. It's sad that our bureaucrats have become the most corrupt and hold the majority of the blame for the mess we are in, for the past thirty and more years. Clowns come and go every election season but our civil servants are the ones who will milk the system, send their kids to settle down in foreign lands, buying apartments for them and what not and will leave the country as soon as they retire.

3. Welcome back, Mr. Prime Minister. After weeks of Pre-Dashain vacation to New York for the UN thing where he got to meet Biden for a thirty-second photo-op session and then to China where he got to meet Xi and also enjoy the Asian Games, the Tiber tour, the great one is back in town.

He must be wishing his luck that he was having fun enjoying hot dogs, dim sum and even Tibetan momos while the country was rocked by teachers' protest and the doctors' protest because then he would have to speak up. The man can't even speak to Xi about our new Chuchhe map.

He can't speak up when in India but he gets all pumped up and thinks he has done wonders for this nation because he knows very well that he has nothing to be scared of because there are no umpires and only players whom all have dived into the pool of corruption and need each other to survive the political storm and strangle the dreams of the people.

4. Our hopes for any medals in the Asian Games are now over. Our PUBG team could not make it to the Finals. A female athlete from Singapore won the 100m silver medal. Since we are obsessed of becoming the next Singapore, may be we should just send our athletes there to train and expect something in four years. And Indian women athletes have shown that they are better than men when it comes to bagging gold in the Asian Games in China!

With due respect to our athletes and no respect to our freeloading sports officials, but maybe it's time to just stay home and be the best in the SAARC region before even venturing out to other sports competitions. We have hundreds of sports associations headed by political goons and their only intention is to get free tickets, hotel rooms and even stipends from organizers of sports competitions across the world while athletes get exploited to the fullest.

5. A foreign national has been arrested with 2kg gold at our Tribhuvan International Airport, A gang was busted with 3kg in Dolakha last month. It seems that gold smuggling will not end anytime soon and we all know that majority of the smuggled gold will go to India. There is a nexus of Nepali and Indian businessmen who use innocent mules to smuggle golds. According to media reports, the commission is distributed from the janitor at the airport to all the way in Baluwatar.

It's sad but the reality is that we are being governed by a bunch of thieves and they really don't care because even the courts have been bought because almost all justices owe their jobs to political parties. Ours is a nation of bhag-banda where our political parties have a quota system for any government bodies, be it our justices, police force, ambassadors or anything related to places where taxpayers' money can be looted!


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