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OcRam
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 Hand Job-2
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Posted on 07-25-08 4:29 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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A guy heard from his doctor that masturbating before sex could help him last longer. So he decided to try it. He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office, so he thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured he might get mugged.

Finally, he was inspired. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and said, "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What's going on here?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

"Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago."


 
Posted on 07-25-08 4:58 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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haha............funny...................

Nice Joke............keep posting


 
Posted on 07-25-08 10:50 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in sex. Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills. He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working.

So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner. That night, they make love for one hour. The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy.

"Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself.

That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours. The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food.

Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call. A little boy answers the phone.

Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?"

"No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks.

"I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?"

"That was you?!" the little boy says. "Let me tell you -- Mom's dead, maid is pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty.' "
 
Posted on 07-25-08 10:52 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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The traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.
"I want to get screwed," said the man.
"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.
The man did this, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open.
"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"
"What?" said the voice, "Again?"
 
Posted on 08-01-08 1:26 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hahaha

keep it coming ocRam


 
Posted on 08-01-08 8:26 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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hahahahahahahahaha
 


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