On behalf of women everywhere, let me make a confession to men: we do enjoy our looks being noticed.

For the time that women spend on outfits, hair, makeup and wearing uncomfortable (and even impractical) shoes, we like it when our efforts are appreciated. There are countless hours that go into shopping for the right fit shirt, and a multitude of beauty salons to try before finding a hairdresser that understands our tresses. It takes years of practice to perfect the stoke of eyeliner and we most certainly cannot ignore the pain in being a woman – most of us don’t come with perfectly shaped eyebrows and I’ll even go far as confessing that most of us have fuzz on our upper lips that we get removed.

So when I go meet my boyfriend and upon seeing me I’m greeted with a smile and the simple words, “You look nice today,” not only do I feel good, he also earns some Awesome Boyfriend Points.  But of course, he’s slightly obliged to compliment me and tell me I’m beautiful even when I’m wearing sweat pants and the oversized shirt I got for free from somewhere. So when perfect strangers take the time to compliment me, it’s completely unexpected and those rare occasions function as a major ego boost.

That being said, however, there are many many maaaaaany wrong ways to give due attention to a woman. A quick run through:

1) Crude comments – saying something crass is not going to win a friendly smile from us. Terrible pick up lines with graphic or subtle sexual innuendos won’t do much except repulse us. And then after making these comments, when we women dare to question intentions, the boys (who are far from “manhood”) not owning up to their whistles and “jokes” makes us lose even more respect for the supposedly stronger gender. I doubt there’s ever been a woman who has swooned and fallen in love with a roadside Romeo calling out messages of lust to just about any woman he sees.

2) Not-so-subtle touching – they say an optimist is one who makes the best of situation, but using the crowded and over packed public transportation to press up or brush against a woman in naughty places is not advised. Most of us have grown to be caution of wayward hands, and we know how much of that lean is the sway of the bus and how much is perversion. There is no need to use such tactics to touch a woman, although for most, I imagine that’s as close to getting laid as someone is and when that comes to mind, I pity the fool who has to hide his obvious arousal – but please, pressing it against a back or a bum is simply disgusting.

3) Piercing stares – I’ll admit I’ve been flattered when I’ve noticed men giving me the up-down all over scan and the approving smile at the end had made me smile (on the inside of course!). However, when giving a woman the eye translates into staring of such intensity, it merely confuses me. When eyes are glued to an ample chest or the sway of hips – that I can understand. But when a man stares at my face with a morose look of a man on death row, it is off putting. There is no need to stare with such intensity as if taking a mental photo with which to pleasure their self later.

I have discovered that the best way to compare the leering stares is by staring right back, expressionless, without blinking, and for as long as it takes for your opponent to look away. It works, every time.

If a woman looks nice, if a woman is beautiful, if a woman takes your breath away, by all means tell her! But do it in a way where she isn’t disgusted, where she isn’t objectified and she isn’t going to make an appearance in an inappropriate fantasy. Keep in a mind, most of the time, we women don’t dress up for our husbands, loves, or our boyfriends, we don’t do it for our jobs, and we definitely don’t do it for strangers on the street. We look pretty because we want to do it for ourselves, because we enjoy it. So appreciate us, and compliment us if you must but do so with respect!

Saani has no real goals and aspirations but she sees opportunity in everything and goes with the flow. This is probably because she loves exploring and discovering. She writes for fun but for the same reason she also cooks, reads, and spends a lot of time on random websites that offer a chance to learn all sorts of tid-bits on life!

www.parakhi.com/blogs