Guys,

I saw the topic of marriage on one of the threads. This is a little strange topic because in Nepal we don't talk about these things.

I was thinking about both the role of a father and role of a husband. Our fathers and grandfathers behaves as fathers and husbands in a certain way. But today the world is different in some ways than how our fathers and grandfathers were used to. What does it mean to be a father and husband today?

The way I saw my father fulfill the role of a father was that he was a provider. I think that was the greatest thing. I never sat and talked with my father. It was more very practical things. In many ways my father provided very little guidance to me besides telling me to study.

Again in the role of a husband my father was a provider. And in many ways in Nepal, it seems that if a man can provide for his wife and children with money then he has done his duty.

But many of us are living in America. And life here gets pretty complicated. We need to learn to communicate and be aware of many things. So I wanted to ask you guys. What do you feel that it means for us to be good husbands and fathers? How is it different from what our fathers and grand-fathers had to do?

Today's fathers need and do tell their kids use condoms ! Everything else is the same.

well bro, I am both, Its a different situation for us now because we are here in the US and I know things would have been different If I was back home, here we have each other in a different land where we try so hard to fit in. We both support each other and work hard and since our baby is born here he will have a different life but we will do our best to teach  him our roots and help him learn and understand all about our culture. He will however decide, all we can do is guide him with love and care. BUT it would have been a lot different if we were living in Nepal, so many relatives, so many helping hands and so many distractions. BUT i know  what my duty and a husband and a father is, unconditional love my friend.

You know what is really funny is that whenever I go to Nepali gatherings in the States, it is like going to mamaghar you know. It is very similar. All the men are in one corner huddled togethor. Most likely talking politics. All the women are in another corner talking about who knows what....showing off their sarees and jewellery. 

And all the kids are running around chasing each other. That's the way it was during festivals at the mamaghar. Except in my mamaghar we could go running and yelling where there were no adults. But here in the Nepali gatherings, man, those kids can shriek.

It drives the organizers crazy. But most of the parents feel that this is the only time for their kids to associate with other Nepali kids and so they let them have fun.

But one thing for parents today is that I think that we cannot afford to be as authoritarian as our parents were. With our parents many times when they told us "this is red." We were not expected to contradict. Today's kids need all kinds of logic and reasoning. And because our kids grow up half in this culture and half in our Nepali culture, I think they go through struggles that we cannot fully appreciate. They are not fully Nepalese and not fully Americans. This has special challenges.

so true brother.

it must be tough n challenging to be a young pita nowadays....be strong and always go righteous confidantly.....